my friends were round today. one of them said "if your so suicidal why havent you killed yourself yet?" i took it bad, and well, i tried to end it. they busted in my bedroom and stopped me. ive had a long talk with my other friend and i feel better. but hes gone now. and i want to cut. i want to die still. but i wont swing this time. im sure im coming close to breaking down. im not suffering a crisis. just feeling near the end. im trying to control the urges to hurt. but the only reason im succeeding is because i know it isnt enough anymore.