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cant deal with it - no understanding!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by just.me, Jul 5, 2009.

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  1. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    my brother got a wedding in 2 weeks
    he want me to come
    i told him i cant even though its not like im not respecting him
    and its due to the fact that im not the sort of person who takes roles
    in such things, he got offended.
    then he told me that i wont be able to escape it and he and his
    mom will pressure me to come with all means...

    so here is the problem
    if i wont come, at least 3 people will be VERY offended
    and ill get a black mark for life from that.
    yet if i will come i will suffer from many anxiety attacks
    which ill be forced to hide, and then ill end up with suicidal
    depression for at least 2 days

    my brother is well aware of my mental state and that i am on meds
    but he went into frenzy with this wedding and it seems like
    he dont care, all he want is so that EVERYONE will come to his wedding.
    the other people, such as his wife are not aware of my mental state
    but hopefully my brother will tell them about it if needed
    yet i bet they wont undarstand anyways

    conclusion, i wont go as i wont be able to handle it
    and i will end up as an outcast who back stubbed his brother
    because i had a bad mood
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you not go to doctors and explain what is happening and how much anxiety you are having about wedding. The doctor may be able to give you some medication to help you keep calm throughout the wedding ceremony then you can leave as soon as wedding is over. There is medication that can help you and your brother obviously loves you alot and wants you there. I think that speaks alot about him.
  3. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    i agree with mary - perhaps you could just go to the main ceremony and then leave? your brother should understand though, and not force you to go. :hug: i hope everything works out :heart:
  4. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    I wish i could
    but i am so scared that only thinking about the wedding
    makes me feel anxious...
    And I cant afford to visit my doctor, not to say to buy any meds...

    im hopeless
    maybe i deserve to be hated by others
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Try calling a helpline, admittedly they're not as great as doctors, but they're free and they might be able to help you a little.
    And keep posting here, we can help you as much as possible.
    You don't deserve to be hated by anyone! I'm sure your a lovely person, though i don't know you well enough to say at the moment, but you don't seem bad at the moment.
  6. nevertheanswer

    nevertheanswer Active Member

    Don't be scared about your brother's wedding. :) It is a first step in healing what you have right now. Talk to him. He WILL understand. He's family.

    Please do not think of yourself as an outcast. You're just in a tight situation right now. Eventually, things will get better. Try your best!

    And you do not deserve to be hated by others.
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