Can't decide between suicide, or running away

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LM350, Oct 27, 2012.

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  1. LM350

    LM350 Member

    Hi this is my first post

    Yeah, I don't know if my self esteem has ever been lower. I can't do anything right, I have no talents, and I'm useless. I'm also a loner with severe social problems. And recently what's been depressing me, is that I'm in love with my best friends girlfriend. Yesterday was th first time I've ever cried in school after seeing them hugging. I know, isn't that utterly pathetic? Plus recently I've been failing school which was was the only thing I was holding onto til now. I've just been letting everything slip because part of me doesn't care anymore.

    My home life is pretty good, my parents both love me. But I just feel like ending it all. I already have a suicide plan, just have to slip out my window, go to the nearest bridge and jump off. Or I could just run away or something.

    I'd appreciate if anyone here replied with any friendly advice, or something, thank you.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi LM350 you hun try hard to get back into doing well at school ok. The girls will like someone that is successful You hun will find another girl you will and you want to be at your best right. I think if you can hun talk to your parents let them know just how sad you are and get some help ok. Talk to a therapist it helps to be heard talk here as well Running away well hun that only takes your problems somewhere else and you do not want to harm the ones that love you. Get some therapy some counceling and push forward ok. One day at a time hun hugs to you
     
  3. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    I bet you do have talents. you maybe haven't tried the right thing yet, or else, more likely, you are too hard on yourself and don't give yourself enough credit for being good at things. You are lucky to have a good home life and good parents- so why on earth would you run away from that? If everything else in your life seems to be going wrong then you need the support of your parents now, so don't run away! Stay! Can you talk to them? And as for the other, you should definitely not do that, because there is no coming back from there. And you would break your parents' hearts, and your best friend's, and probably lots of other peoples' too. You are not a complete loner- after all- you have a best friend- so that means you are able to have friendships with people, and you said that your schoolwork's going to pot, but at least you know that you are capable of it, as you have been before. I know it's really painful when you like someone that you won't be able to go out with but this happens to everyone at some point. the only thing that makes you forget about it is meeting someone else and having a real relationship with them. That will happen for you. It happens to everyone eventually.

    Do something new. Do something you haven't done before. Find your talents. That will make you feel better. Reach out. Talk to people. If you need help with depression get it. Talk to your parents. Talk to your best friend (Dont tell them that you fancy their gf though!!)They will help you. You sound alright to me. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can get out of this rut, because that's all it is, there is so much more you can do. Hugs.
     
  4. LM350

    LM350 Member

    Thankyou. I just wish I could talk to my parents, they would understand, but I just have some social anxiety thing and I start feeling all nervous who I think of talking to them about this. I guess I'll just have to get mor confidence.
     
  5. LM350

    LM350 Member

    Thanks as well. I guess I'm lucky because I have actually told my friend about my feelings and they understood. I just told him not to worry about me cause I don't have a chance with her anyway and don't pose any threat. And I guess i should try and find things to be good at. I was into writing before maybe I can get into that again. Thankyou :)
     
  6. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    You can talk to them though, nobody who loves you will judge you for shaking or being incoherent because you are upset. You don't have to spill all the beans there and then, just say you've been feeling a bit down and see where it goes from there, that's what I would do anyway. hopefully this will make you feel better. anxiety is terrible, I have had problems with this myself in the past. Talking is the way forward!!
     
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    LM350, if you have trouble "talking" to your parents, perhaps you could write it down for your folks to read...and that would open up the discussion.

    As for being in love with your best friend's gf, I wonder if it is partly that you have had a chance to get to know her and actually talk to her because she is part of your friendship? Sort of like the first hurdle in the social thing has been jumped? I think TE is right that you and other girls will eventually start talking. It takes practice for everyone. Please keep your hope and keep trying. You are articulate, sensitive, observant. I bet you are a good listener. These are fine qualities in a person. Keep these good points in mind, hun.

    Stay safe. :hug:
     
  8. LM350

    LM350 Member

    Yes actually. She's the first girl I've properly come to know and she does like me as friend
     
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