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Can't die now ...

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Active Member
I'm reading up on methods. I'm completely calm, and I'm a bit worried about it.

Over the next few years, I wanna see what the dems are gonna do with power over the house. I wanna write my comic. I wanna go to california.

But mostly I'm not doing shit and it seems like a total waste.
I never actually do those things I wanna do.

And I'm not happy. I'm supposed to be happy, and I'm just not. I'm completely inadequate. I could be done with this within 7 seconds. Yet I'm holding out for the highly-bloody-unlikely.

I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared that things would immediately get better afterwards. The idea really bothers me.

I don't know what to do


Active Member
Hubby wants to spend time with me tomorrow.

I feel really hopeful and pleased about it ........ and just so ......... guilty. How can I take these feelings back? How can I make them go away?

There's no way I could hurt myself that wouldn't traumatize them.

But I still don't know what to do.
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