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Can't do it all again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cookie_monster, May 22, 2008.

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  1. cookie_monster

    cookie_monster New Member

    When i was younger, at school in fact I was being bullied. It was constant name calling and suchlike, not physical stuff but deeply upsetting all the same. After one incident too many plus some other issues which are still going on I took a few pills, not enough at the time to actually kill myself but I didn't know that. I just wanted it all to stop.

    After I left the hospital I muddled through life, lurching from one job to another, spending time in one grotty bedsit or hostel until I got sent down for something I did whilst drunk. It wasn't anthing serious so don't worry, but with my family history I was pre-destined for jail time! After release I went back to my mums and I spent a few years working for agencies around factories and still making social faux pas. All this was done against a backdrop of loneliness and self hate.

    Anyhow I eneded u getting a decent job with people who after a while became good frineds. I got a girlfriend and after some time I moved 4oo miles away to be nearer her. We split up almost as soon as I did that hwever and I came back down here. I carried on with my old career and did some travelling, started a course, and made new friends.

    However abour 3 months ago I lost everyhting, or at least things were set in motion for that to happen. I can't rebuild again, it was bad enough the first time and I cant go through all that shite again. It hurts too damn much and I can't see a way out. Just want things to stop that's all.

    Sorry if i rabbitted on, just wanted to say that's why i feel crap and all that.
  2. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    do you still have the decent job.
  3. cookie_monster

    cookie_monster New Member

    I won't do soon.

    That's not the thing that's kicked me off, but it's part of it if that makes any sense
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