So it's been a while since I've posted anything, or been online, or chatted, or such. It's been bad. I can't seem to bring myself to do anything. I've lost it, and I really don't know how to get it back. I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense right now. Let me try and slow down a little. I've been home for like two weeks now. In that time things have gotten progressively worse. I don't sleep, I can't concentrate or really do anything. I get angry and confused and bitter at pretty much everything. It's gotten so bad, I can't even really take care of myself anymore. I'm scared. I just want it to stop. The suicidal thoughts are getting really bad again and the meds don't seem to be helping at all. I'm just done. I can't bring myself to fight this, I can't move past these feelings. I've been trying my cbt, been taking my meds, and I just keep getting worse. I can't get any pleasure from anything anymore. I don't feel like I can leave the house because outside is too big and too scary. None of the things that used to help me relax are working. I'm just losing it. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel numb, worthless, and empty. Anyways, I'm sorry for all this.