i need to vent. i feel like i am about to lose it...
i am not sure WHY i thought it was a good idea to go back to finish my masters degree this year. ok, i know logically why i thought it was a good idea. i couldn't find a job, needed money, and to get those things... i need my degree. BUT in 2007 i attempted suicide and since that time, struggle each day with severe depression. in addition i have a severe eating disorder, which i cling to because i feel it is the only thing the keeps me "sane." SO now i went to my first class, and already I KNOW i can't do this. i can't focus, and am compltely overwhelmed. no way, i am ready to drop out. i have to also complete a 700 hour internship which i know i will not be able to do.... and work part time. oh my god... someone , anyone have any advice??? should i drop out now before i make the biggest fool of myself???? i pray every night i die in my sleep and this nightmare ends. but if i drop out, i am in the same old nightmare i was in before... min. paying job, living with my parents and no where to go. i don't know what to do....
i do have an appointment with a psyhe next week to maybe get some meds to help me... maybe i can hold out until then. thanks for listening to this rant..... i am so alone. something is deinitely wrong with my brain.
i am not sure WHY i thought it was a good idea to go back to finish my masters degree this year. ok, i know logically why i thought it was a good idea. i couldn't find a job, needed money, and to get those things... i need my degree. BUT in 2007 i attempted suicide and since that time, struggle each day with severe depression. in addition i have a severe eating disorder, which i cling to because i feel it is the only thing the keeps me "sane." SO now i went to my first class, and already I KNOW i can't do this. i can't focus, and am compltely overwhelmed. no way, i am ready to drop out. i have to also complete a 700 hour internship which i know i will not be able to do.... and work part time. oh my god... someone , anyone have any advice??? should i drop out now before i make the biggest fool of myself???? i pray every night i die in my sleep and this nightmare ends. but if i drop out, i am in the same old nightmare i was in before... min. paying job, living with my parents and no where to go. i don't know what to do....
i do have an appointment with a psyhe next week to maybe get some meds to help me... maybe i can hold out until then. thanks for listening to this rant..... i am so alone. something is deinitely wrong with my brain.
