can't do it

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by brokeneyedangel, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. brokeneyedangel

    brokeneyedangel New Member

    i need to vent. i feel like i am about to lose it...

    i am not sure WHY i thought it was a good idea to go back to finish my masters degree this year. ok, i know logically why i thought it was a good idea. i couldn't find a job, needed money, and to get those things... i need my degree. BUT in 2007 i attempted suicide and since that time, struggle each day with severe depression. in addition i have a severe eating disorder, which i cling to because i feel it is the only thing the keeps me "sane." SO now i went to my first class, and already I KNOW i can't do this. i can't focus, and am compltely overwhelmed. no way, i am ready to drop out. i have to also complete a 700 hour internship which i know i will not be able to do.... and work part time. oh my god... someone , anyone have any advice??? should i drop out now before i make the biggest fool of myself???? i pray every night i die in my sleep and this nightmare ends. but if i drop out, i am in the same old nightmare i was in before... min. paying job, living with my parents and no where to go. i don't know what to do....

    i do have an appointment with a psyhe next week to maybe get some meds to help me... maybe i can hold out until then. thanks for listening to this rant..... i am so alone. something is deinitely wrong with my brain.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun no need to drop out talk to your councillors at your school bring not in from pdoc and get the support you need to succeed okay You can get extra time to write quiet place to study tutoring ect. councilling even to help keep you stable Also hun if the workload is too heavy cut it back some okay take some now then see w hat you can do in summer months don't overload yourself hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think there are other ways to take on this challange...sometimes, when I look at the big picture, I get so scared, that I sabotage myself...maybe braing the task up into much smaller tasks would be helpful...get one done, then the next, etc..and also, give it a little more time...first days are so overwhelming, even when doing good things
     
  4. brokeneyedangel

    brokeneyedangel New Member

    thank you for your replies. one day at a time.... you are right. i have to stop looking at the big picture and go step by step.
    we shall see.....