Can't do this any more....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by craznar, Jul 22, 2015.

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  1. craznar

    craznar Member

    I've got Alexithymia, Severe Anxiety Disorder and Severe Dissociative Disorder.

    I'm totally alone. I stare at walls, sleep and do pretty much nothing else.

    I recently found a website (won't mention it here) to help me end it all - and it directed me here.

    I've already had over 5 years of treatment, seen 20 therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists. I've tried out over 30 medications and various other treatments.

    The consensus is that there is no hope for me whilst I remain alone, however I have no-one to help me out. I am alone. I have an average of under 1 hour of human contact per week, and no social contact.

    I know the only answer is to end it all, but that other site pointed me here - so here I am.

    I don't expect any solutions, but 10 minutes telling my story for the 100th time isn't a big effort.

    -- CLB. Brisbane, Australia
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi. Do you seek out friendships and do you have any family? There is a penpal section on this forum

    Welcome aboard.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Hi, and welcome to SF!

    I wish I had some advice to offer, some suggestions you haven't already tried. All I can offer is a listening ear if you ever need it, if you ever feel like talking; my PM box is always open. That's one thing this site can offer is friendship, human contact, people who have been in similar situations and understand how you must feel. I hope having people to talk to will help you to feel less alone.
  4. craznar

    craznar Member

    I seek out, but no response. As a result of the Alexithymia, written/remote/skype communication is of no assistance to my problem.

    I have no persons that care about or for me, my phone/email list is void of all but where I buy lunch, the cleaning lady. I work at home, and all my work communications is done via skype chat.

    I have tried, I have tried dating sites - I have tried phone numbers, support, outpatient hospital, I've tried starting my own groups, tried finding old friends.

    I do not have depression, when I am in contact with other people - I light up, however have no people these days to be around. I've just finished another 10 week unsuccessful psychologist run. No more money for more.

    I haven't given up - rather run out of options apart from the 'one option' left.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I don't know what Alexithymia is (I know the simple answer to that is that I should Google it, and I will). You mentioned that Skype is of no help to you. I guess I'm trying to figure out what could help; is it that you need physical contact, to be face-to-face with someone? I know for some, voice chats via Skype or other alternate apps can help, but not sure if that would benefit you in any way.
  6. craznar

    craznar Member

    I have over a decade of unhandled stress and anxiety - due to the nature of Alexithymia (which is an umbrella term for what I have), I can't use any of the normal methods of excising this stuff - so it remains within me.

    It has got to point now where my mind has 'frozen', and it is literally incapable of initiating action alone.

    This means - that without contact with humans - I do nothing, and without face/face contact I have no way of improving this because without face to face contact the anxiety/stress level remains at 'capacity'.

    Online voice, online text - do not help either aspect of the issue.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2015
  7. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    Hi, this may seem like a very weird idea, but I myself have problems with making connections and meeting people. One thing I've done is join local table top gaming groups in my area, I've found them by search facebook, and I've met a lot of people just by playing board games during a meet up of the group at a coffee shop. I know you need face-to-face connections, you meet people online at first, but since it's local you can eventually within a few weeks meet them in person at an event.
  8. craznar

    craznar Member

    Yes, I've tried that as well - I've signed up to several on meetup, but none are accessible to me. The one that was accessible, almost triggered my suicide last November as the organiser abused me each session until I broke late November last year.
  9. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi , welcome to the site. I am sorry that you are feeling very alone but we all understand as we have own experiences to deal with. Isolating yourself just increases you woes and anxiety issues. A year ago, I felt like you but it's about appreciating life and dealing with life one day at a time. You are among friends and we understand or have similar experiences to you.

    I being a bit cliché but life is about living and YOU ARE IMPORTANT LIKE ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING.
  10. craznar

    craznar Member

    Well, I don't have any mechanisms for dealing with life, and I am 100% alone on this... I've been like this for over 5 years, there is no future prospects here.

    Not really - unless I pay someone, no-one cares about my existence.
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are not alone as you will friend here who understand what you are going through. We all suffer each day but we still find the strength to live each day.
  12. craznar

    craznar Member

    I am alone in the sense that my condition means I get no solace, or assistance via text etc.
  13. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I understand what you are saying but you have to remain strong. We all remain strong and post here for support. You need to call an emergency line for support. You are important and just keep believing in yourself. You just need to keep posting here.
  14. craznar

    craznar Member

    I think you are missing the point, I've run out of steam - totally. COmpletely.

    I'm outta here.

    Too many meaningless soundbytes.
  15. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    hey craznar:

    Personally think you are doing a good job communicating on this thread. Don't sell yourself short. Keep communicating and hang out in the chat rooms, just hang back and watch converstations and once youre comfortable, jump in and see what people will do or react, keep posting on the buddy chat subsection and maybe mention one of your hobbies or interests that you like to talk about to just break the ice as there are PLENTY of shy people in here.
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