huney, please dont give up, this time only last week i had given up, lost all strength and decided i was 'definitely' going to kill myself. then fear and guilt kicked in, i got a new job and have booked holidays to look forward to, please try anything you can to take your mind away from suicide, ANYTHING, im sure you are a great person and you deserve to be happy, but only you can let that happen.Even try to stay around here for a while for some support and to talk with like minded people. If you need to talk anytime at all please PM me, take care hun!:hug: :hug: