I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of everything, i want to disappear, go to another world, anywhere but here. I don't have the guts to kill myself. I wish some horrible accident would just do it. Today i went under an overpass and hoped it would just collapse on me. I'm so confused and i come on here thinking that maybe that i would begin to get better but i keep getting worse. I can't tell anyone how i feel, im just not the person to bluntly say my feelings. My boyfriend saw my cuts today, i'm so stupid i should have been more careful.... he says hes not mad but i can see it in his eyes. He even said that he was actually a little turned on!!!!!!! i'm in total shock. He said its not the cutting its the fact that i was bad.... I just don't know what to think anymore. i'm embarrassed to even tell my feelings on here. I'm so frustrated. I'm tired of trying to fix my life, im tired of hoping its all going to get better, im tired of achieving things but always feeling like i have failed. Nothing in this world is ever good enough! I can't see a future. I can't see myself in the future. I just wish everything, everything would just end.