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Can't enjoy Company

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 16, 2006.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ok so I have found myself in a bit of trouble here... you see I cannot seem to enjoy company. Now this would not normally be a problem for me. But the problem is that I complain about being lonely and wanting someone around yet when I have someone around I just want them to leave... it is SOOOO annoying.... My inability to trust and love is really helping me become a total loner loser who does not care for other human beings. And with this my life will slowly become numb and I will be able to just survive in this haze we call existence... Now I see myself as hipocritical mainly because I say one thing then do another. I say I want people in my life but the one person in my life I am trying to get rid of... it is quite the problem.... this makes me a hipocrite... I hate hipocrasy.... I should just give up on living now...
  2. Ripx

    Ripx Well-Known Member

    i dont think its that you want human contact, its that you have been programmed to think that thats the only way to be normal, and an acceptable way of life.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmm so I am just another idiot in the mass who was successfully programmed? That bites...
  4. dark_thought

    dark_thought Guest

    I watched a documentary recently that concluded that the human brain had evolved specifically to function within social groups of between 100 and 150 people. This was the typical size of pre-industrial communities. What the program didn't investigate was the question of how we behave when we lack the emotional support of that many people; be they work colleges, teachers, family or friends.

    So like it or not, being alone is not normal. It's not something we're naturally equipped to handle. But we live in a society that encourages small families, where the individual is more important than the community or the state. Yes, this gives us personal freedom, but it also creates a personal void that capitalism encourages us to fill with materialistic crap that we don't need.

    When I see groups of friends hanging around in town, I really do envy them; Their friendship is a luxury more valuable than they know,
  5. zombieinc

    zombieinc Member

    Umm.. I would disagree. These people that have a social group of a 100 to a 150 are outgoing. Not all of us have brains wired for social situations. There called shy, or introverts. I'm personally shy. Its something that I cant just magically wish away. When I am around people I get annoyed. Its an instinctual reaction. To fit in to a group of friends I always felt like I had to be fake, or be something I wasn't in order to fit in. I always felt more comfortable being alone. I was happy being alone, until the world started telling me there was something wrong with me. Or that I should hate myself. To me its there problem.... Why can't I be happy, and not have to worry about conforming to what the world believes will bring happiness?
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2006
  6. SoSweet

    SoSweet Member

    Heh, after being alone for too long, the only person you'll know enough to hate will be yourself.
    Maybe it is solitude that you desire, if so then you'll simply have to embrace the numbness. A life without feeling is still a life. However, it could also be that you are already numb (from a lack of change, your current style of sociality may have gotten stale/too plain to remain enjoayable or plausable) in which case you could try expanding your range of company.
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    FM I can sympathise with you here I suffer from Ocd and it affect's me in a similar way,I wan't to do one thing and then I do another and I just mull over the thing I didn't do.I feel I wan't to be around people then when I am I feel I would've rather of been at home nice and warm with the heater and vice versa it seems you can't win.
    At times I've had a visitor come to visit me and I've felt like I haven't been in the mood and wish they were gone so I could just sleep or be alone.I know I'd rather not think like that and it feel's like I push people away unintentionally at times.I take it hard also and just wanted to tell you I know exaxctly how you're feeling.
  8. dark_thought

    dark_thought Guest

    We're engineered to live in communities of 100-150 people. I'm NOT talking about 100s of close friends - that figure would include anyone you socially interact with; even the postman.

    I'm shy and I'm often very uncomfortable in social situations. I'd rather be alone, but when I am, I want to be with other people. I feel shit either way. This is a common problem that many people solve with drink. You must have seen how the atmosphere among people changes after a few drinks...

    But I don't drink.
  9. dark_thought

    dark_thought Guest

    Exactly. I suspect we are encouraged to keep going for three primary reasons:

    1) To continue to contribute to capitalist society - that is to earn money to buy crap, so that other people can earn money and buy more crap...

    2) To avoid hurting family and friends by sparing them the pain of loss.

    3) To find a partner, have kids and thus start the cycle all over again.

    Non of the above reasons are sufficient to justify my continued existence.

    Life is a like a party; some people are dancing and having fun. You envy them, but all you want to do is leave.
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
  10. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    Dont give up on life, FM. Who is it in your life you are trying to get rid of and why? I understand the feeling of being torn between wanting company and isolating yourself. Take care and hugs.

    grant (TheAM)
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