cant even keep a f***in bf!

[underdosed]

so as i said before, i had this REALLY great guy and he made me so happy but i kept pushing him away. Last night i broke up with him and now im not answering his phone calls. I dont know. I just get scared of being pulled in again. but this is RIDICULOUS! am i just going to never have another guy? i know a friend whos with a woman now because she finds it safer and actually really loves being with her girlfriend, but thats just not me. i have the utmost respect for her and i have nothing wrong with homo/bisexual people, but i dont have an attraction to women. plain and simple. i dont like being around guys in a sexual way for too long. it scares me that i could get sucked in by another guy and be stuck again. what if the next one kills me? i would like that, actually, to be killed, but the abuse leading to that is miserable. i dont know what to do.

:cry: its been a low couple of days :cry:
[rose]

 

[see]

I understand how you are feeling right now, it so hard all the conflicting emotions and it hurts so much you feel so helpless and frustrated.

The things that have happened have hurt you deeply and it will take sometime for you to heal the scars will always remain but if you let it heal it will make you stronger you will find someone just don’t give up. If you ever need to talk pm me OK?

 

[Isa]

Its been 5 years since my 'assault'.

Ive had 2 long term relationships since then (one was 1 year, the other was 2 years)..

Im now with someone new.

In my last relationship (the 2 year) the guy was great, didnt push for anything. I think we only actually tried sex itself 4 times in the 2 year relationship, and when it got too much we just stopped.

In my new relationship we are close emotionally and it helps me overcome difficulties.



Im not saying everyone gets over it, Im not even saying ive gotten over it.. Im just saying take things gradually, you dont have to fight to do everything at once.

Things are scary, start off small, at your own pace, and any guy whos not willing to support (and constantly reassure :P) you is just not what you need.



Hoping you find happiness

Isa x

 

[LouisLeGros]

that is really sad to hear, atleast you have the ability to have relationships. You just need to take it step by step.

I can't even get off the ground though. The reasons are different and probably not appropriate for the Rape & Abuse forum though.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

You need to have more faith in guys you get with. From the sounds of things, your last bf was very nice and understanding. Try not to push people like that away. You will only end up hurting yourself.

At the same time it's understandable how you feel. You just being cautious.

 

[honsou]

you will find the right guy, the right guy will know your a great girl and go after you no matter how you try to push him away. Don't worry that person is out there for you