Can't face my life anymore

Every time I think that I've hit rock bottom, things get worse.
Every time I see a ray of hope, it's ripped away from me.
Every time I dare to smile and feel some comfort, someone or something puts me down.
There really is no point in me fighting this any more.

 

I've lost everything. Yet every day I find I've lost even more. I can't take any more. I've go nothing more to give. I thought I was running out of time, but now I realise my time has been and gone.

 

what exactly is "everything" and what exactly is "even more" ?

 

Lost my brother to cancer. Then had cancer myself. Then my marriage ended. Then I had two heart attacks. Then I suddenly lost another brother. I haven't had my own bed to sleep in for nearly three years. I have just a few weeks left to stay where I am now, then I'm on the streets. My health can't take that.

 

Sounds like you are definately having it rough both physically and emotionally... and financially added on. Do you live in the United States? If so, there may be some organizations you can seek assistance from. Sorry to hear that your brothers have passed... I know how hard it is to lose a loved one to death and no words or empathy can even come close to healing those holes... I won't lie to you either and tell you "time heals all wounds", truth is, it doesn't... death is one of them... but, you do learn to cope with it better as time goes on and it hurts a lil less and you remember more of the good times instead of the bad. I'm glad to hear you are a survivor of cancer rather than a victim to it... thats a huge accomplishment btw!! grats!!

With your set of circumstances I can see why depression has set in... but, if you hold on.... you can make it over the hump, and maybe even see a day where you can smile and laugh again..... one of the reasons I hang on when I get in the emotional state you are, is cuz of a plaque I keep on the wall behind my pc.... it says: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Hang on for those moments that are so GOOD they take your breath away... you deserve them... why let anyone (including yourself) or anything (life circumstances) take those from you?

 

i hope you will continue to reach out here, mel. we do care and we do want to help.

 

I appreciate you guys listening to my moaning.
But I can't go on.

 

Hi Mel,

My situation is similar to yours in one respect - I too am facing homelessness in the near future. I am exploring all options and I hope you will, too. Anything is better than the streets, and you should do whatever you have to to get a place to stay where you will at least be safe and warm. As long as there is even a glimmer of hope, keep going however hard it is. Believe me, I know how bad it is to feel the way you are feeling. Not because I have been through it and come through, but because I am going through it now.

 

I'm right behind you Mel in several respects. I'm sorry because I know exactly how you feel and I'm damn sorry for me too. I'm not doing well either. I know that doesn't help, but you are totally understood. This is not your doing or your fault, but as long as you come here, they'll be people to listen for whatever that's worth.

 

I can relate to so much of what you said, and I'm sorry that you or anyone else has to feel this way. I hope that you do keep reaching out because we are here to listen.

 

The next few days are critical to my survival. Out of the blue I have been invited to an interview tomorrow (Thursday). It's a long way from where I am staying at the moment, but I cannot afford to miss it. Just getting there is going to be difficult. It is without doubt my very last chance, this is literally do or die. If I'm successful then there is hope for me. If I fail that's it. Within 2 weeks I will be on the streets and penniless. As I've said before, that will mean the end for me. I can't face that scenario so I would have to take matters into my own hands. If there's a God, any God, then I pray to that God that I succeed.