Can't find a way out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pabloz, Jan 12, 2016.

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  1. Pabloz

    Pabloz New Member

    I just want to keep calm. I feel that the only way is to get out of this world.

    I tried once, but I didnt succeed. My parents were going to divorce. I thought me and my mom will move. But nothing happend then I found a girl. She was 3 years younger (15 actually). I fell in love with her in 2 weeks. She was afraid of the age difference. I thought I am doing something bad. I didn't believe in myself anymore. Then I started having panic attacks. I could even breathe, eat food, sleep. I was starving to the death, but I couldn't eat anything. I made some mistakes in our friendship. Then it got worse. I couldn't stop my panic attacks. Then we got together (somehow). After a month we broke up. Then there was a panic attack that couldn't be stopped. I sat in a car and wanted to end it all, but somehow my friends found me and took my out of the car. Next morning I <mod edit - methods>. I got to the hospital. She didn't even care about that. Later the time passed I was still having panic attacks and couldn't concentrate on learning. I made some kind of aversion at school because I meet her there everyday and everytime I do the panic attack comes. There are still 5 months before my final examination, but I am not able to learn. I won't pass it because I can't stop thinking of her. Now my parents are pushing me to learn, but I am happy for every moment that makes me not think of her. 2 times a week I'm thinking about suicide because at that moment I feel it is the only way out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2016
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi Pabloz - welcome to SF. I am sorry that you feel so horrible. Panic attacks are awful - often it really feels like you might die from them - but it is important to remember that they pass. I know it doesn't feel like it now but heart break also passes. How long ago is it since you broke up with this girl?
  3. Pabloz

    Pabloz New Member

    It had been 4 months already.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    There is a book called ''when panic attacks'' as it has helped me immensely, it might benefit you too. Other than that do what you can to keep your anxiety levels down, relaxation, meditation, exercise, listening to music. I am sorry you are feeling so horribly. You can PM me anytime. You are NOT alone here. I care :)
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It is quite tough going through one of those. Having a fellow friend that understands what it is like is very helpful. What about distracting yourself when feel one of those coming on, triggering points try to take it one trigger point at a time ?
    2 people like this.
  6. Pabloz

    Pabloz New Member

    I am sorry, but I don't really understand what you mean about triggering points.
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