I just want to keep calm. I feel that the only way is to get out of this world. I tried once, but I didnt succeed. My parents were going to divorce. I thought me and my mom will move. But nothing happend then I found a girl. She was 3 years younger (15 actually). I fell in love with her in 2 weeks. She was afraid of the age difference. I thought I am doing something bad. I didn't believe in myself anymore. Then I started having panic attacks. I could even breathe, eat food, sleep. I was starving to the death, but I couldn't eat anything. I made some mistakes in our friendship. Then it got worse. I couldn't stop my panic attacks. Then we got together (somehow). After a month we broke up. Then there was a panic attack that couldn't be stopped. I sat in a car and wanted to end it all, but somehow my friends found me and took my out of the car. Next morning I <mod edit - methods>. I got to the hospital. She didn't even care about that. Later the time passed I was still having panic attacks and couldn't concentrate on learning. I made some kind of aversion at school because I meet her there everyday and everytime I do the panic attack comes. There are still 5 months before my final examination, but I am not able to learn. I won't pass it because I can't stop thinking of her. Now my parents are pushing me to learn, but I am happy for every moment that makes me not think of her. 2 times a week I'm thinking about suicide because at that moment I feel it is the only way out.