This is my first year at college, and I feel like I'm completely doing myself in. On one hand, I feel like I'm trying as hard as I can--but as hard as I can't isn't very hard by most people's standards. I wake up in the morning and feel like shit. I have a hard time sleeping even when I'm exhausted, and I feel like I have so much I need to do--but I can't do any of it! It's infuriating! I know that I need to study for my midterm and that I need to do my homework, but as soon as I pick it up I feel as if I'm about to have a panic attack because there's just SO MUCH that I have to do. Even when I do it I get shitty grades. I feel like I'm fucking up one of the best opportunities of my life and I can't stop. I cut and I've had a few panic attacks, I have bad self esteem issues and I just feel shitty, physically and emotionally, all the time and it's really interfering with my school. And I'm about to fuck it up for life.