Can't force myself to be happy when I should be
- Thread starter DelRey21
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I'm very sorry you feel this way, and if you can, believe me when I say that I understand. At least to some degree, because I feel the same way.
I don't know what the solution is, I'm very sorry to say. I just hope you can find happiness in something. Talking to people is always a great start, so it's good that you've found your way here. Maybe others can give you advice, but in the meantime I hope you can find meaning in knowing that at least one other person is going through similar doubts.
I don't know what the solution is, I'm very sorry to say. I just hope you can find happiness in something. Talking to people is always a great start, so it's good that you've found your way here. Maybe others can give you advice, but in the meantime I hope you can find meaning in knowing that at least one other person is going through similar doubts.
When I say old is I just feel like I've wasted my life. I wish I could have been more outgoing as a teenager and had more of a social life. I feel like I'm not gonna be a successful professional because younger people than me are way more ahead than me. I feel old because I somehow feel it's too late. Like when it's easier to delete a text and retype it than it is to correct it. Something like that.
Feeling old while still young is more common than you may think. My wife has complained about feeling old since she was your age. Sometimes t can a few tryes to find the right medication. Even if you don't want to go that route therapy can still help. A "happy" life can actually make depression worse. The stronger the light the deeper the shadow. It doesn't make you a bad person, or a broken one. It just means that the source of your pain is still there. It's okay to feel the way you do. I know it can be hard to forgive yourself, but I don't blame you for how you feel. It's just how it is, and instead of blaming someone I ask why it is. Don't give up and remember we're here if you need.
Lots of people say that and give that a reason for stopping meds...but you've landed on this site somehow and generally that reason isn't good so which is better? Not feeling quite like yourself or killing yourself and leaving behind a slew of mass destruction with your family and friends to deal with?
Yes. Since I've not had an abusive or otherwise bad childhood, and never had any problems getting through school until age 16, I started feeling guilty about my sudden lack of motivation (and later will to live), because I felt there should be no reason for me to feel like that. Today I struggle more than ever, and I feel like life is running away from me faster and faster.
I've just started therapy, and medication, while I consider it a last resort, is something I realise may be not only helpful, but in fact necessary for me. We are all unique individuals, but listening to people with experience and knowledge, as well as not giving up on trying to find the cause is a great thing to aim for, I think.
I've just started therapy, and medication, while I consider it a last resort, is something I realise may be not only helpful, but in fact necessary for me. We are all unique individuals, but listening to people with experience and knowledge, as well as not giving up on trying to find the cause is a great thing to aim for, I think.
I so get you. I mean I was bullied pretty bad my entire life until college but I don't think that's what makes me feel this way. And it's scary to wake up and feel like doing nothing when you've got everything going for you. It's scary to feel like you want to reset your life. Thanks for making me feel understood. Yesterday was a pretty rough night. Today is better.
I'm sorry you had to go through bullying from so young an age. I can't imagine what that does to a person, but if you don't think it's left permanent scars in this way, then that's good, no? 
I absolutely agree, it's scary. Glad to hear some days can be better than others! Let's try to stay on that track today!
I absolutely agree, it's scary. Glad to hear some days can be better than others! Let's try to stay on that track today!
I spent quite a few years in that state of self-loathing and feeling frustrated that I hadn't used my potential. I now recognize it was an my awareness of my sin and failure in light of God. The world really sells the idea that you can induce positive self-esteem. But as long as the focus is on self, the feelings of depression will never let up. Only when you become aware of your sinful state and repent can your perspective shift into one that is focused on God's grace and love. I'm praying that you too will experience this.
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