I am so tired that I sleep the majority of a 24 hr day. When I do decide to go out or have any interaction with people, I am shocked and appalled by their words or behaviors toward me, and I'm not doing or saying anything that deserves this! This just makes me want to retreat inside again. People are awful; they have no empathy - even over minor or major things. People seem cold inside to me, and I'm shocked that there are people everywhere that are this way. Out of nowhere, my vet said to me yesterday, "you're crazy". Who says this, and how should I have responded to him? People just don't give a crap and after witnessing this for my time on this earth, I see no reason to believe otherwise. I am disgusted by people in general due to this & feel like shouting at them at the top of my lungs, "what the F is the matter with you?!!! You have no heart; no feelings! You only care about yourself!!!" I can find no one who cares one bit about me, and that includes my X boyfriend, who is a sociopath & narcissist, in addition to being a compulsive liar. He was actually my reprieve from my sad life, but now he's gone. Had to dump him for good finally after 3 crazy making years, but he understood me the way no one else did, and so I actually miss him! He was mostly bad for me, so why do I miss him? I am totally alone now. My life is over. I can't function anymore. I can't be around anyone, bec all they do is act like cold, insensitive, selfish people. I can't expose myself to that anymore & so I am alone. I miss my X. Even though he also acted like a selfish prick, he also understood me. He has severe depression too. He was the only one who understood me & now he's gone. I couldn't take the pain of his intensely selfishness anymore. I keep trying to figure out the best way to die, but I can't seem to find a way that is a sure thing, and that will be painless. I can't live this way anymore. I don't see any meaning in this life - none. I am alone. I'm too sensitive for this life. I feel everything. No one else seems to and it makes me sick. Cold, selfish, heartless people everywhere. Why can't I just die in my sleep? I pray to God that I will, but even that doesn't work.