can't get a job...suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 1993, Mar 20, 2015.

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  1. 1993

    1993 Member

    Hello everyone. I have been trying to get a job but no luck. I have done pretty much everything I can do. My only experience is working retail. And I have applied to every retail place around me. I have gotten a few interviews but no job offers. If no one hires me, I don't know what I'm going to do.

    I know employers are free to hire or reject whoever they want. But we need an income to survive. So if no one wants to hire us, what are we supposed to do? Turn to a life of crime? Commit suicide?

    By the way, not everyone has what it takes to start a business. And most small businesses fail within the first few years anyway.
  2. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    I'm really very sorry to read you are in this situation. It might be time to look into public assistance, which I realize is something no on wants to do, but there is no shame in it when things are desperate. I don't know where you live but hotlines often can put you in touch with the right office. You also might consider retraining or moving to areas with better employment, if this is an option.

    Please be very gentle with yourself right now. It is very scary to be without a job or income and can easily cause you to feel hopeless and despairing. It might be helpful to talk with other people in your boat - both for moral support and to get ideas and valuable information on available options. I googled "unemployment forums" and it looks like there are several good ones out there. Here is one of the first to pop up.

    I absolutely agree that not everyone has what it takes to start a business. Nor should they. The human race benefits from having people with widely varied talents and skills. You must keep faith that you do indeed have something to bring to the table.
  3. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    I think ChestnutMay gave you good advices.

    It sometimes take a lot of time to find a job but you might want to try to something different than retail even for just a moment.
    ANyway you have nothing to lose trying right now.

    You might find a road somewhere unexpected.

    Hold on you will go through this.
    I've been through a lot with jobs recently and still not done ... but keep on fighting that's all we have.
  4. Everymedhasfailed

    Everymedhasfailed Active Member

    Hey 1993,

    I am so sorry that you are struggling right now! But there is hope...

    I worked at McDonald's for two years, and ended up losing my job for drug use on shift... Stupid! I know... It was three years until I got a job and it really wasn't easy... I realised after two and a half years that I was applying for the wrong jobs... I was applying in dead end careers: cleaning, fast food, retail and anywhere else that I thought would pay my rent. Until November last year when I decided to sit down and decide which type of career would suit me and my anxiety and depression... Following this sit down I decided to get some work experience in a business admin environment... I know what you are probably thinking, because this was my train of thought "Why would I go to work experience for 40 hours a week when there was no money at the end of it?"... Do not think of work experience as you working for free, you are working for experience and most importantly a reference... Believe me when I tell you this, after employers see that you have done a month's or so work experience in which you proactively seek new work to complete, thus widening your skill base and improving your experience, you will get interviews for jobs you actually want!
    I did my work experience in November with a community interest company, and it was alot of filing, telephone answering and data entry... Lets just say it was dull as heck! But now I have a full time job working as an administrator within a charity! Sure I am the lowest rung on the ladder, but it is all experience! Do not be afraid to start at the bottom and work your way up a vertical career pathway! Employers will admier your passion to develop a career and if you are working within a job or sector in which you have a genuine interest/passion for, you will love the work you do. If not the work that you do (because I do not love my work) love the cause you are doing it for! (my employer is a hospice providing end of life care, and I love helping provide the funding and services which the clinical team provide, because I know how much the work they do is appreciated!) be that the companies interest or goals, or providing yourself with a better future in which you can be truely happy and flourish!

    Employers value experience over qualifications, believe me! There are people with a degree customer service, who have never served a customer! Sure they have the theoretical knowlege, but if someone with 2 years experience serving customers were to turn up to the same interview as the degreed interviewee with no experience, who would the employer hire? Qualifications show how well you can be educated, they mean jack when it comes to real life work because attitude and experience mean more than bits of paper!

    Take it easy, keep plugging away and know that if you identify the right job for you, and get some relevant experience, you will get a job offer!
  5. kangaroo2

    kangaroo2 Well-Known Member

    Have you tried staffing agencies? They can get you a job with a factory very quickly. Staffing agencies are sleazy and they will take some of your pay from your hourly earnings, but it is a source of income and you might even get hired on.
  6. Jericho

    Jericho Well-Known Member


    I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time getting employed. I know this is something you may not want to hear, but have you ever considered the military? I myself have been having issues with it but that doesn't mean that you will. What I am getting from your post is that you feel this way due to your lack of income/employment. If nothing else, the military offers a steady paycheck with decent benefits. It is at least a last resort option for you to consider. I hope my advice helps.

    Be safe, my friend.
  7. Yvette

    Yvette Active Member

    I wish I could find an opportunity like this! I just want someone to give me a chance. I graduated in July 2013 and haven't been able to find suitable work as in something not too stressful that it will cause me to have a nervous breakdown. I don't have much of a work history so it is hard and almost every employee out there asks for past experience. I even have volunteered for about 5 months, and despite my dedication they never tried to offer me a job! This really hurt my feelings as they knew I was looking and struggling yet never considered me as a first priority when a position arose. I don't even know where to go from here. I would volunteer somewhere else again if I was guaranteed a job at the end but I don't know of such a place. I'm really considering ending it all as without work I cannot get out the awful place I live with my abusive dad and get a place of my own. If I can't work soon I know I will die.
  8. Everymedhasfailed

    Everymedhasfailed Active Member

    I hear you Yvette, but there is no such thing as a guaranteed job... All you can do is build your experience and get the best references you can through work experience placements... If you make make yourself a valuable resource to a company while you are doing work experience with them, they will think twice about letting you leave... I know a girl who did work experience answering phones in a hotel... To cut a long story short, she now works at the London Hilton helping people to plan their weddings! Completely different to my work, but she helps provide people with the happiest day of their life! Although it is a profit driven business, she has the good feeling at the end of her work day...

    There are many different careers you could choose that would minimise stress, and I would recommmend an office environment if you are able to manage your time well, and work to deadlines... I would not recommend hospitality or customer facing roles, as you have to deal with alot of complaints and sorry to use profainty, but arseholes who think it is your job for them to moan at! With that in mind, if you do not have very good computer skills, go on microsoft virtual academy for easy to use lessons on how to work in office, or even youtube! Youtube is one of the most undervalued learning tools out there, and you can literally learn anything, from stilt walking to computer programming! Why wouldn't you?

    Something that I realised is that no employer is obligated to hand you a job, it is your responsibility to prove that you have more/ better skills for the job than anyone else, and educating yourself in your own time is something that I really recommend, as you can learn at your own pace. Also one more thing before this becomes an information overload, dress for the job you want, not the job you have! Even if you are unemployed, wear a shirt and smart trousers/ smart jeans everyday and you will begin to "feel" like you are more professional, making you more comfortable in the interview clothes, so when you are sat in the interview, you dont feel uncomfortable in your clothes...

    Best of luck to you all, and remember knowlege is power!
  9. kangaroo2

    kangaroo2 Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear about your work situation and your situation with your dad. I took volunteered for a company in the field I went to school for. I volunteered part time for 5-6 months. They too would not offer me a position but decided to hire someone off the street with more work experience than me. It makes me wish I had stolen shit from them and makes me want to give out the company's confidential information to their competitors.

    There need to be accommodations available if you have a mental illness that would cause you to have a nervous breakdown. Otherwise employers are discriminating against you if they fire you because of your mental illness. You have to disclose it to an employer first. It isn't possible to sue them for discrimination if you never disclosed your mental illness.
  10. 1993

    1993 Member

    It sounds like a lot of the posters are from other countries. I should mention I'm in the USA (and in a conservative state at that). Unfortunately we don't have much in the way of public assistance. And what little public assistance we have is, at best, a temporary solution.

    The work experience programs I hear posters talking about sound like what we call unpaid internships in America. I have done unpaid internships twice in the past and it didn't lead anywhere as far as a real job is concerned (not saying it can't lead somewhere. But I'd be reluctant to try that route again). Plus unpaid internships are harder to come across in America because we have stricter regulations when it comes to that type of thing.

    I took a poster's advice about registering with a staffing agency though.

    I have applied to every job near me that I feel I'm even remotely qualified for. I'm currently living off my savings. But if my money runs out before I find a job, I really don't know what I'm going to do.

    I come from a well-off family. My parents are perfectly able and willing to help me out financially if need be. And I feel very fortunate for that. But I have bigger dreams for myself than living off my parents for the rest of my life. Leeching off your parents is no way to live. If I'm never going to amount to anything other than living off my parents for the rest of my life, it makes me wonder what the point of life is.

    My parents tell me not to worry about the whole job thing because they can help me out with money. But they don't realize their reassurance is actually counterproductive. I don't want their charity; I want a job so I can make my own way in this world.

    And even my own parents would want nothing to do with me if they knew about the true me. There's a lot I hide from my family.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2015
  11. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    It's greatly to your credit that you don't want to live off your parents. I hope you will not feel it a personal defeat if you end up having to take help from them, though. Although the US economy is supposed to be doing so much better, the fact is: jobs are still VERY hard to find.

    Would you mind taking your parents assistance for retraining in something with more of a demand than retail?
  12. 1993

    1993 Member

    I'd be perfectly willing to take my parents' assistance to go back to school for something that's in demand. However, I don't know how I would go about picking a program.

    I already have a college degree. When I was 18, I entered college for a program that was allegedly in demand. The only problem is everyone and their brother tried to get into the field when they heard it was in demand. As a result, the field was severely over saturated by the time I graduated. Needless to say, I couldn't find work in the field and that's why I have only done retail jobs since graduation.

    Just like we obviously get lied to about how well the economy is doing, I feel like we also get lied to about which fields are supposedly in demand. And just because a field is in demand now doesn't mean it will be in demand 5 years from now.

    I apologize if I sound negative but I just feel like I've hit a dead end.
  13. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Don't worry about sounding negative - it's only natural that you feel discouraged at this point. Not being able to get a job in your field is bad enough - not being able to get one at all is demoralizing beyond words.

    There are career selection programs out there that will be honest about how likely it is a job will be available when you get out. Since your parents are willing to help you, this might be an option for you. You're absolutely right that a job in demand now, might not be in demand in 5 years. However, a good program will look at long term trends, e.g. in population demographics, political and business trends and technological innovation. They will also test you to see where your strengths and weaknesses are so you can find something that fits you. I took part in such a program - it was a bit like very practical therapy as I met with a psychologist every week for about a month who ran and interpreted the personality tests , steered me towards the information I needed to make my choice and told me about some of the different training programs for that choice. As it turned out, I ended up staying where I was but I was really impressed with how thorough an approach this group took. This particular program was associated with Johns Hopkins, but it didn't try to funnel participants into its system - really did seem to have the client's best interests at heart.

    Maybe something like this would help?
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