I tried to kill myself a few years ago and since then I've stopped having those urges, for the most part. Lately, though, it's the only thing I dream about. Every night when I go to bed, I dream about what I did and how it felt and it's making me lose sleep. Sometimes I'm even afraid to sleep just because I don't want it to happen again. Does this happen to anyone else? Is this PTSD or just some morbid subconscious fixation?