*triggering...maybe???* It's not fair to me! Every single time I try to get help from my friends they always say that I'm lying. That I'm making it up. I do a ton of stupid stuff, I know that for a fact. I self harm, and do stuff to kill my emotions like overdosing, and everything to just get rid of my emotions. I have tried to get help so many times. From my family, friends. My mom KNOWS! She knows but she doesn't really do anything about it. It's as if she doesn't really care. I'm seeing a Psychologist but it isn't helping. I have trusted five friends with my feelings. One who I don't really trust and I won't go to to ask for help, one who doesn't really care, one who's too far away to really help, one who completely ditched me and called me a liar, and the last one...I trusted her!!! She told me to trust her, that she'd be there, and everything. She SAID she would be there for me, that she'd help, and I told her I needed help, because I was doing drugs and alcohol last night, I was depressed, nothing seemed right. And she just said "bullshit." She thought I was lying! I have given her NO REASON to think I was lying! I don't understand. I want to give up trying to find help because each fucking time I try it just makes me worse!!!! It hurts to be called a liar, it hurts to be ditched, it hurts extremely bad when I open up 100% to someone and they leave me because they don't believe it! I'm so done with being called a liar, and being ignored, I'm tired of it! I want to give up both in finding help and in life because I don't care anymore!!!!! I don't want to care, I want to stop hurting, I want everything to just fucking STOP for TWO SECONDS!!!!! I want someone there, who cares when I don't, who maybe understands or pretends to understand, when I don't. I want to get help from someone near me, who I can see, who doesn't call me a liar. It's like my problem isn't me trusting people...it's people trusting me.