Cant get it out of my head

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by na-taya, May 17, 2016.

  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    First of I want to apologise that I don't offer much......I just find it hard to offer advice especially if I can't follow the adivce I would give to others.

    My head just keeps repeating 'why do you bother, why do you keep going'

    I'm not sure what gets me through the days. I don't know why I keep going. What am I doing it for? Ive come to accept it may never get better.

    I don't know why I'm posting this I'm so lonely. But why should I care??

    I just want this thing called life to end. But for some reason unknown to me I somehow get through another day. I'm tied I don't want battle myself anymore. I will. But one day, and I hope soon it will end one way or another
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hun, you do a lot already, you are often checking in on me and that means a lot to me!

    Do you feel like therapy helps you? Have you tried to do DBT? Maybe it would be something for you.
    You could try to find some goals for your future and work towards them, at your own pace.

    I really hope you will take care of yourself hun! Don't give up
  3. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    The least I can do is cheek to see how you are after all you have done for me.

    I don't really do therapy as such. I just see my peer support worker and my case manager we just go out to cafes and have tea or coffee or hot chocolate and just have general chit chat don't go to deep. And I feel to uncomfortable in a public place to open up to much especially of I feel I will cry....

    I did 6 months of DBT I still have all my paperwork and still sometimes use the skills.

    As for goals I don't really see the point it setting some even if I reach them I don't feel accomplished altho I never achieve anything important ever anyways.
    I really am just existing....and I really don't know why or what for.
    I don't see the point but yet I still be....

    I just don't know anymore
  4. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    The days are long.....and night even longer.

    Every hour the thoughts get stronger and I get weaker.
    I'm trying to fight a battle that seems impossible again.
    One day I'll break and the prices will be to small to put back together due to trying to rebuild so many time.
    Sooner or later this demon is going to win.
    I'm tied but it's a tied that no amount of sleep can fix.