Can't Get Out Of This Prison

[teardrops87]

I don't even know where to start! Sometimes I feel as if I'm about to burst with emotions. I'm 23 and my parents are so OVERPROTECTIVE! My mum literally controls my life. She plans it from morning till evening. She chooses the clothes I wear, how I do my hair etc. She's obsessed that I eat healthy food and that I take the correct vitamins. I am not allowed any alcohol or sweets. The irony is that in spite of this I am still slightly overweight and have always been. And I have more health problems than most people my age do.

It may sound funny and you may laugh at this but when you're in the middle of such a situation it's pathetic.

My mum literally forces me to intoduce every single friend/acquaintace to her, cause she must choose the people I talk to as they might influence me badly. Her expectations of me change every day. One day she wants me to find a husband and marry at all costs (which I don't want to do). The next she wants me to remain single, live my life as a hermit, and focus more on my career.

I've just started my first full-time job and am finishing my full-time postgrad studies, so I am very very busy at the moment. However sometimes she annoys me so much that I cannot contain my feelings anymore and have to come here and waste my time ranting before I can continue working. Mum is also nagging me to find a better job as soon as possible.

Lately, due to the stressful situation and pressures I am under I feel like committing suicide. My parents have already started planning how much money I am allowed to spend and how much I have to save for furthering my studies abroad. They don't want me to leave home yet. Sometimes my mum calls me stupid or naive. Well it's her fault if I have become like this. They've been holding my hand and protecting me since I was born.

I've been wondering what xxxxxx while my parents are not at home obviously (it has to be a miracle for both of them to leave me alone in our house). Also, I heve never told them that I am depressed and I have never attempted suicide before. Therefore I don't know why they are so reluctant to leave me unattended, as they probably don't know anything about my suicidal thoughts.

 

[total eclipse]

ONLY YOU can get you out of that prison you mother holds you in You are an adult now okay YOu have a job move out into your own apt and set up boundaries allowing your parents in only when you want them there. Time to get out into your own space so you can grow okay YOu don't need their permission to move just do it . Set up a banking acct in your name so noone can tell you how much to spend or what on.

YOU are in charge of you okay so pick up phone or look in the newspaper and get that apt of your own and start living YOUR life the way you want too
Take charge of you okay. h ugs

 

[Viro]

This is tough. I think that you're probably going to need to have a blowout argument with them and end up renting a place on your own. Is it affordable, with your job?

 

[ride26]

I would love to be in your situation, you've accomplished a lot by finishing your undergraduate studies and getting a job. You should be proud. It won't be too much longer before you will be free from your parents strict rules. Realize though, your parents are strict because they care for you so much.

Keep up the hard work and you will be ready to fly from the nest and live life how you want to. Sounds like you have a bright future, so don't kill yourself.

 

[moko]

I think what your parents are doing is a form of abuse.
You are legally an adult, and according to the constitution/charter of rights (whichever country you're in), you have the right to a free will. Your parents have no more decision power over you.

The role of a parent is to educate you and to lead you in life so that one day you become independant and able to make your own decisions. I find it scandalous that your mommy still picks your clothes and food at an age where most people your age have been independant with these things since they are 10! And as for your money, it's YOUR money. Your parents have no freaking right to control how much you want to spend, and above that, who you want to meet and hang out with.

Basically, they way I interpret what you wrote, is that you are your mommy's puppet and she keeps you at her side with psychological abuse. She has no right to call you stupid or to be afraid of leaving her 23 yrs old unattended! You're not a dog or a toddler!

My best advice that I can give you is that you need to make up your mind. How long are you willing to continue living like this? You expressed feeling depressed, which I can surely understand. However, there is hope and I agree with the above posts: Only you can get yourself out of this situation. I suggest that you either talk with a therapist/counsellor at school or after work and plan your independant life out OR you could plain out rebel, get your own appartment and before you leave, you write a letter explaining why you want to live YOUR life YOUR way.

Either way, it's up to you to take control. I'm sure this decision is going to be a tough one as it has the high potential to alienate yourself from your parents but remember that it's ultimately your life and have the power to change it's direction at your free will.

 

[NaomiP]

Your parents think they are helping but the truth is that they are in fact abusing you. Their overprotectiveness becomes a problem for you in later life or now in your case. I'd take time away from them if I were you and find some kind of independent perspective, because at the minute it doesn't sound like you have that. And its important you are your own person. Separating from her even if for short while is the best thing you can do.