Man this sucks too because for once I woke up this morning happy! It's been MONTHS since I actually felt happy. Jumped in the shower, went grocery shopping and I acutally LOVED life again! I was laughing at signs on the road. I was not depressed, even going to work I was HAPPY! I mean it was a rare occasion! Then I talked to my boss about a small question and it went to hell! Personal attacks again! What do you do when your BOSS is against you! And it wasn't even like that until she heard I'm still a newbie. I am so mad right now! So mad! First she goes 'I hear someone on your unit is talking bad about others,' NOW that wouldn't be so bad EXCEPT I went to her a long time go telling her about two nurses that are just ripping on me, spreading rumors and such. Know what she did! Rolled her eyes, turned and huffed before just ignoring it all! Now because someone was on my unit and said something I'm in trouble?! How is that FAIR! Then she goes on and on about 'you know you can't be good in charge if you are friends with your co-workers outside of work.' So what! Forgive me if I talk and joke with my co-workers! But what now I'm not allowed to hang out with them? Eff that! Sorry but there's several people that go to the movies or shopping together! And I told her I don't- because I don't hang out with them outside of work- mainly conflict of schedules. But it keeps circling in my head. Now I'm depressed as hell because I keep thinking. Is it bad that I laugh with my co-workers. Is it bad I'm naturally quiet? Is it bad that I don't tell people to shut up on my unit; but they can talk about me ALL they want?! I just keep crying. I can't get over it. I decided today I'm not doin them any more favors. Screw it. But still, now I'm completely depressed. The sad thing is, if it was me not doing something right then great I can be more then happy to learn! I wanna do everything right so teach me the right way! This is the THIRD freaking time she's done this. Today she broke the last of what was left of my pathetic self esteem. Even now sitting here I wonder how much I've done wrong. I keep second guessing myself on things I've never had to think twice about!