Can't go any further

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jakepen, Jun 18, 2010.

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  1. Jakepen

    Jakepen Member

    I*will*kill*myself*eventually.*I*feel*like*crap*inside*almost*everyday.*Life*is*not*worth*living*and*I*don't*want*to*live*in*this*society.*In*the*past*few*months*I've*changed*alot.*I've*started*to*realise*the*world*and*I*don't*like*it.*No*one*cares*in*this*world*anymore.*I*have*trouble*dealing*with*these*emotions,*I*think*suicidle*thoughts*all*the*time*since*I've*changed.*The*only*way*to*try*to*deal*with*these*emotions*is*by*self*harm*or*crying.*I*like*seeing*myself*bleed.*These*emotions*are*getting*stronger*every*day,*some*days*I'd*rather*be*dead........*:(*I*don't*like*the*medication*I'm*taking.*It*makes*me*happy*when*I'm*not*happy.*It's*trying*to*force*me*to*like*life*which*I*don't.*I*just*don't*care*anymore.
     
  2. Jakepen

    Jakepen Member

    Sorry about the asterisxes, it's my stupid computer.
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    hey what is going on? I get that you're really sad and feeling hopeless but what has gotten you to this place?
    It helps to let your feelings and and we are here for you...to listen, give advice, share our experiences and provide caring support to you so please keep posting.
    Are you getting any outside support with this? It is a lot to be dealing with ya know and often we were not given the skills to learn to cope with all this pain so we turn to other ways such as harming and thoughts of ending it all.
    Please keep posting and let us know what is going on inside...you deserve love and let me tell you there is lots of here!
    Hope to hear from you Bambi
     
  4. Jakepen

    Jakepen Member

    My doctor and parents know and that's about it.
    I just feel so alone because nobody understands me.
    Do you remember me from before, when I said I was going to run away which I did. Then my parents threatern to call the police. Anyway that's another story......... I'm leaving school in a few weeks. On the day I leave I plan to not return home.
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    well why don't you give us a try and helping you through this.
    It is hard to deal with so much alone, hell I could not do it.
    I have learned long ago that family, although they love me, can't really provide support. It amazes me how all of us here can support each other, we who are going through so much are often the only ones that truly understand one another and thus are the only ones that can provided the need understanding and support.
    I can not talk you out of your date, this I know but I can plead with you to give us all a try...open up to us, post a lot and allow us to help....together I am certain we can find a way out of the darkness. It takes a bit of time but it works so please please until your date give living life a chance, give it all you got and give us every opportunity to help....like I said together it works.
    Would you be open to starting a diary? You can do it in private but it would be a good way to start sorting out all the emotions and pain you're going through..just a thought and it really helped me.
    There is chat too...many find this a place of great comfort and for sure it is an excellent distraction.
    Would you care to share a bit about yourself? Like how old you are? a bit about your schooling? What are some of the major issues troubling you? Anything that would help us get to know you so we can lend a hand is helpful.
    Well I am glad you wrote back, I know there is a large part of you that wants to live just without all the pain and sadness so please allow us to help and continue to post.
    I will be thinking of you and I am around often so please know I am here for you.
    Hope to hear back Bambi
     
  6. Jakepen

    Jakepen Member

    I'm in year 11, people think I'm f*cked up at school. I've already tryed to help myself but I can't even do that.

    I'm really sorry bambi you sound like the sweetest person I've ever met and I apprechieate you trying to help me but I think some things can't be fixed. I don't know why I feel this way but I really want to kill myself.
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well I understand i really do. See that is the whole deal with depression..we get this terrible thoughts of pain and sadness that we don't understand...hell that is the definition of depression.
    One thing that strikes me about your situation and is cause for great hope is that you have been struggling along on your own so much...let me tell you nobody can do it alone..just can't it is too much..with that being said why not give talking about what you feel can't be fixed and lets see if between your strength and will and all of the resources here - advice, knowledge, love, caring, support etc- we can't help you find a path out of the darkness and get things fixed.
    If you think about it you have nothing to lose as suicide is always there should you choose-i have learned that I cannot stop someone not matter how hard I try and no matter how much I give of myself and heart-but I can help guide someone out of the darkness and provide the support that is so needed in difficult times.
    Please give us all here a chance to give you the understanding you seek..you are so strong to have made it this far and you never know the change you seek could be a day away....please allow our caring and love it..you deserve it ya know..
    Please keep talking, it really helps.
    Hope to keep getting to know you better and hope you are able to talk about the things you feel cannot be fixed...maybe start by telling us a few of the small things that feel they cannot be fixed? We are here for you my friend...stay strong as you can beat this depression and have a wonderful life...
    Bambi
     
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