Every morning I wake up with such dread and despair that it saps everything out of me. So depressed and so insecure,i become a mental wreck. Then I would force myself to surf the net, just a few sites, to try to distract myself from the horrifying feelings of depression. After a while, I would feel ill again and lay in bed. Then I get up again after an hour or two to go for lunch. Then I come back home feeling horrible again and lay in bed until 5pm to walk my dogs, then I take my bath and lay in bed again until dinner then after dinner, I lay in bed again to sleep. The cycle has been going on for almost a year already and I don't know how can I ever go on living like this. My depression is killing me and I've tried so many meds which did not work. Effexor greatly reduced my suicidal urges but it did little to alleviate my depression feelings which sticks with me 24/7. I constantly lay in bed because I don't feel 'well' and everytime I get up from bed, I still feel the same horrible feeling. I can't live my life with this ill-feeling inside me and nothing helps. I'm crippled by depression. I want to get out of it but I simply don't know how. Nothing helps and I'm feeling really desperate. Do I have to live depression for the rest of my life? How long more? At least for some, their depression is manageble but for mine, I'm crippled by it. Day in day out, I feel the same. It's all pointless. Stuck with such a life, I'd gladly give it away. I really can't go on feeling like this all the time. Can anyone relate?