Can't go on with depression and social phobia

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Black31, Dec 18, 2008.

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  1. Black31

    Black31 Active Member

    I've had years of suffering from depression and social phobia to the point where I'm totally sick of it. I feel constantly depressed if I'm at home all day and everytime I try to socialise I feel anxious. The next day I feel exhausted and very depressed. I have really negative thoughts with people, I'm so scared of letting go and being myself with people. It’s crazy and stupid I know but it’s gone on for years now and I just can’t live a normal life. I’ve had lots of therapy in the past and nothing seems to cure me. It’s like automatic behaviour now when I’m with other people outside my own family. I’m saying to myself “Don’t upset them, you’ll lose them etc etc.” I just think terrible things will happen to me, it’s crazy, I know they won’t. I have this general feeling of being totally unsafe with people outside the family. I hate it and just want to be normal. I want to live a normal life and have a job and friends, etc. I’m so fed up with it all, it’s just getting all too much to cope with…..
  2. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    I am in the same exact situation, and the only time I feel I can do anything is when I am on benzos.

    I don't know what to do :(

    Its been years like this
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    im also exactly the same but try and find anything to keep me going. its so hard though and sometimes go to bed every night feeling even worse if i havent found anything

    but being here is really beneficial.
  4. Black31

    Black31 Active Member

    Thanks for your replies. Social phobia is a nightmare to live with isn't it? I just can't seem to snap out of this autopilot programme I'm on. Grrr. To top it all off I have depression from a trauma in my teens. I'm now 31 yrs old.

    Do you guys work? Do you have any pals? :sad:
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I have severe social phobia. I don't work, don't have pals and barely speak to anyone.

    Are you on any medication? Do you see a therapist? :hug:
  6. Black31

    Black31 Active Member

    Hi sweetheart

    Sorry you're struggling too hun. What a nightmare these probs are eh?

    I'm on seroxat 20 mg and have recently had phone CBT. How about you?

    Black xx :biggrin:
  7. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    I have social phobia as well. Its getting worse.

    I do work, but i dont hang with anyone anymore. I used to but it got to the point where i just ...dont trust people anymore, or get very very anxious.

    I think a lot of people dont realize they are an introvert, not an extrovert, or rather dont realize what this means. There was a VERY interesting article in a magazine (psychology today?) that discussed this. Basically, introverts during social situations, have a much higher amount of blood flow to certain parts of the brain taht register "social fulfillment" or just fulfillment, and this is why introverts may become irritable, anxious, or even very tired and feel they must lock themselves in a room for two days to recoup, after a social gathering.

    It also hints that some people may be socially awkward not simply because they are introverts, but because of some trauma in the past that has taken place in a social situation. (bullying or the similar).

    So you have to realize youre not messed up in the head, or crazy, simply because you enjoy to be alone more than not. But at the same time if you are lonely or unhappy, than you have a social phobia that needs to be dealt with.

    And also the magazine went to point out that about 25% of people are introverts. I would have thought this number to be much greater.

    ::EDIT:: :massbounce: Found it!
  8. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    I've had really bad social phobia most of my life however I have to say that the medication I've been taking this past 18 months has helped really me cope with it.
  9. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    I have social phobia and severe anxiety due to my previous substance abuse and childhood brought ups. I haven't been working for 2 years now, not socializing.

    I've been taking fluoxetine for a week i'll see what's going on.
  10. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    It is the most traumatic thing you could ever experience. It leads everyone to suicide.

    It ruins your life, it stops you doing things. And no-one understands the nature of the problem because it seems illogical and impossible to others. Imagine being depressed without any SOD (society anxiety disorder). That's difficult enough to deal with life. But with SOD on top of everything else? That makes everything much more worse to deal with.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2008
  11. _Enigma_

    _Enigma_ New Member

    I really share your pain. I get so angry because I used to be a social, friendly person but due to my health now I just can't be that way anymore. I just want to scream because I can't even concentrate properly when i am talking to someone, and i feel they are getting all this negativity off me, and i feel like i am living half a life/i shouldnt be in the position I am.

    People just dont want to know and it has really warped my world view because before i tried to think positively of the world and life and now im just so messed up. I really hope things get better for you, feel free to talk to me anytime
  12. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    I think you should try to stick with the CBT program for as long as you can. CBT can be very useful for battling thoughts like these:

    You already know that the thoughts are irrational, which is good. Now you just need the equipment to counteract those thoughts, and you need to make a commitment to use it for a long time. Write down a lot of the techniques you find to be most powerful and refer to them on your worst days.

    Oh yes, and never stop trying! Make it a point to be around other people every day. You don't have to face your worst fears immediately but even taking baby steps towards your goal is better than standing still. Every tiny amount of progress helps you, so long as you don't let the anxiety force you back into your shell. 'Crawl, and then walk, and then run..'

    Best wishes!
  13. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    I've got social anxiety, too. I really want to be a social person, but I can't. I get nervous, and I think my being nervous makes other people nervous, and then I get more nervous because they're nervous, and it's just goes around and around. It's good that you're getting therapy for it, I hope it helps you.

    I used to think I was the only one who felt like this, but looking around here it seems pretty common. We should start a club. Punch and pie can be served as we all hide in the corners and avoid talking to each other. :hiding:
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