I've had years of suffering from depression and social phobia to the point where I'm totally sick of it. I feel constantly depressed if I'm at home all day and everytime I try to socialise I feel anxious. The next day I feel exhausted and very depressed. I have really negative thoughts with people, I'm so scared of letting go and being myself with people. It’s crazy and stupid I know but it’s gone on for years now and I just can’t live a normal life. I’ve had lots of therapy in the past and nothing seems to cure me. It’s like automatic behaviour now when I’m with other people outside my own family. I’m saying to myself “Don’t upset them, you’ll lose them etc etc.” I just think terrible things will happen to me, it’s crazy, I know they won’t. I have this general feeling of being totally unsafe with people outside the family. I hate it and just want to be normal. I want to live a normal life and have a job and friends, etc. I’m so fed up with it all, it’s just getting all too much to cope with…..