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can't go out...can't stay inside

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by shades, Mar 27, 2009.

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  1. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    The last few days have been really rough. Staying at home is driving me mad, but when I go out and run errands, the madness level increases. The meds sure aren't working and I've cancelled therapy several times. Bless you all at SF...it's the only thing keeping me sane right now. I don't imagine anyone would have a solution for this, but in general...do most of you feel worse at home or outside in public?:sad:
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey Mike.

    I feel horrible in public, but I'm safer there. :dry:

    In LA, I'd like to go out to the canyons or beach if I was near Santa Monica. Umm.. North Hollywood is scummy :)laugh: Sorry!), but what really made me feel good was taking the subway all over the county. Walking in the financial district made me feel good -- I think it was all the neck craning you can do over there.

    Seriously, the subways were fun. Especially the Blue Line (I think) it goes over South Central and ends up in Long Beach. So you have really wealthy business commuters sitting next to gang bangers. :laugh:.

    Maybe treat yourself to something at the Archlight?

    Or you can visit the WGA in their Hollywood location right next to the LA Film academy. Why not write a letter to one of your favorite screenwriters, make a trip out to the WGA west offices, drop it off care of the building (you can find specific representatives on the wga website), then go by amoeba's?
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    There are 2 places where I feel really comfortable nowadays. One is my apartment, and I am sure that will change once the summer comes (stupid attic apartment) lol

    The other is my part time job at the pizza joint. It is so good to go in there after a week of the real work, and the lifes problems, to just see my friends, and perform the easiest job in the world.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hiya Mike :hug:

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I've been where you are now,I know how bad it feels, but you just gotta take one day at a time.
    Why are you canceling therapy hun? Have you told your doctor that the meds aren't working.Don't be afraid to,they are there to help you :hug:
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....sometimes i am the same way. and i'm not on ANY meds. (((hmmm. maybe i should re-think that)))

    lately i want to cocoon at home....but then i get SO lonely. but when i go out, i find that i am alone and even more isolated in a crowd.

    s.f. helps me too...and my friends i have met here, daily save me.
    hope you get support here - and all the above suggestions are great ones.

    big hugs xx
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Mike,
    I find that my isolation is the only safe haven I have.. When I am out in public my mind starts going a hundred mph..My thoughts get all jumbled up..The only place I go other than therapy and my doctors is the grocery store..When I check out The cashiers are always friendly but all I can manage is a smile.
    You should really keep your therapy up.. I know it is frustrating at times but in the long run it pays off. Before I started therapy three years ago you could only get me to go to my appts. and then I had to be taken.. Now I get out a little more and am able to drive myself again. There are times I have to pull over and let the anxiety pass before I drive where I was going.
    Definitely talk to your shrink and tell him the meds aren't helping!! I have been on just about everything and still am on a regimine of different meds but my shrink just added another one for skyzophrenia and I will be damned if it isn't starting to help. I don't think of my self as skyzophrenic but maybe I am.. Who knows!!
  7. MourningAngel

    MourningAngel Well-Known Member

    the only place where I feel really sane and actually happy is when I'm with my horse, going for a walk or a ride, just me and my horse, the only creature on this planet who never hurts me, lies to me or keeps secrets from me. He is the only thing that makes me get up in the mornings and helps me keep going but as soon as he's gone I can't garantee for anything
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm living by a double edged sword amt.
    i hate being outside, but i have no where "safe" inwhich i can be comfortable. i'm not welcomed in my dads house, apart form just visiting and hen doing so i usually end up goign to the attic to do some form of computer work for him with him looking down my top. my mother says i'm lazy good for nothing so in so thats lying and should cop on and do the house work for her cause she's coming of her anti depressants cold turkey.
    so probably a similar situation other than i want to be inside but am unable to atm
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Thanks to all of you that responded to this...it was very helpful!
  10. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i am stuck inside too.. i am an antisocial git by nature tho i do like to see people sometimes... but i am stuck in cos of health probs.

    it sucks yes... the board helps...

    trouble is... its a snowball.. the more you isolate for whatever reaason, the harder it becomes to go out and be with others. i feel v awkward in groups..

    do you play any instruments? if so you could try bandmix... for people to jam with in your area?
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2009
  11. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Soli; thks for the input and for sending the pm to me yesterday. It hurts and saddens me to hear of your situation. Like I said, I wish I were there to help you out and such. Anyway...the worst of it is over (the anxiety and such) and while I do play piano, it was more classical in nature and I dont know much about bandmix, but it doesnt sound like it would work for me. But you, along with the others have suggested trying to do something...anything to keep occupied which is what I'm going to try the next time it happens which could be soon.

    I've got to go out today and get some things and I'm already feeling anxious about it. I did re-up on my xanax though...which is helping a little right now.
    Also, helping others on SF helps me out too. I know you said it's hard for you to type alot and now I understand...so once in awhile I hope you dont mind if I send you a pm. I wont expect a return but I'll always look for you in the threads/posts to others and try to keep in touch as much as possible. You're great...I don't pray, but I'm concentrating very hard and hoping that everything goes as well as possible for you these next couple of months.
  12. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    classically trained pianists can fit in with all sorts of music, all genres.. singer songwriter, jazz etc so you never know... can you home record? i have been looking for pianist for album 3?
    could you teach piano?
    just trying to think of ways to meet people so you do not live in a bubble
    course you can pm.. just may take me a while to reply... and thank you v much xx
    good luck with the going out....
  13. junmae

    junmae Member

    hey shades, i am in your position... I quit my job a month and a half ago and i've been staying home 99% of the time. It really makes me feel more depressed but when I go out I get so angry and raged because of paranoia. So I feel safer at home...though it does get really boring. Thankyou internet and TV. This is just leading me closer to suicide but oh well i'll see where i get to.
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