Cant Handle The Bullshit Anymore

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jdgirl, Jun 21, 2012.

  1. jdgirl

    jdgirl Member

    I feel like a true failure! I'm not even twenty yet i have no urge to keep living. I struggle everyday to keep myself going. I have no human interaction and when I do its not positive. My husband never speaks to me and I honestly cant remeber the last time he told me he loved me let alone touched me. I guess if we'd been married for ten years I could handle that but we haven't even been married three months. When he does speak to me its always to put me down, telling me how lazy I am or how I do nothing but spend his money. I feel worthless when it comes to my marriage. I've be gged numerous times in the last couple weeks for a divorce and he refuses telling me I have to stay. One day when I asked him why I should stay he told me I had to stay because I loved him. He never once brought up that he loved me or wanted me around it was completely about how I needed him and loved him. I dont know what to do. I have no family to turn to and no friends who understand what I'm going through. To put the icing on the proverbally cake I'm 8 months pregnant. He has me so beat down I regret getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter but I feel like if we hadn't conceived maybe I'd have a chance to run. I even made the offer to sign over all my rights to him when she's born if he'll sign the divorce papers but of course he refused. I have no say in my own life. At this point its a waiting game til my daughter is born then I'm done. I have to tell myself everyday just eight more weeks then you can be done. Eight more weeks and then it's all over the pain the suffering it'll all end. Most mothers count the days til their child arrives because they're so excited about the childs life. Me i'm counting down the days til I can end my life. quite ironic really. One life for another.
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    hon you need a change - no relationship can work if it's one-sided - and ignoring you or mistreating you after 3 months of marriage is wrong in my eyes on so many levels

    not sure what state you're in so you should consult with an attorney if you really want a divorce - and look into shelters that can give you sanctuary if you want to leave while it all gets straightened out
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Also, please speak to your OB/GYN and tell him/her how you are feeling. Being pregnant can really make havoc with one's hormones and such...also, see if there is a social worker who can give you both support and tell you some options...that way you will not feel so stuck
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    agree with sadeyes hun...
    also have you thought of couples counseling?..might help to be able to communicate with third party present..