can't help you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ashes_away, Jul 24, 2009.

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  1. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    sorry.I have been using you all for a distraction to keep my pathetic self alive and know now it was unfair.I know I am supposed to die to make room for others who have a chance.I know it logicaly.But I am a coward who will never be unselfish and do it.But I also can't help others to go on living.Its just not fair.The radio sings to me..do it selfish bitch.The tv mocks me.Do it bitch.Waste of space.I have no where to turn.I know I won't die tonight only because I am such a coward.How can I save lives..if I can't save my own if I am not supposed to even be alive.They all want me to die.I failed to be selfless and just get over it and volunteer and live in my car for gods sake.
     
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hey whats made you feel like this? simply by being here still and posting is an inspiration to those who would otherwise... but please... dont be so hard on yourself. we want to help. we dont need antyhing back. other than the knowledge your still with us.
     
  3. Alice27

    Alice27 New Member

    Hey, you.
    I know how you feel. But you know, it´s a mistake to think that everyone wants you dead. Believe me, there are people that will suffer if you attempt to harm yourself. First time I tried, I was pretty sure that nobody really cared, then when I woke up in the hospital I saw at least five people in real pain for what I´d done. This made me stop trying to kill myself. I still want to do it but I don´t want to cause pain in other people so I will have to live with myself for a while. I don´t know if you have a family, but if you have a mother, a father, a boyfriend, or even just a good friend, stay alive for them, ok? When we are depressed we think that everybody wants us dead, but it´s simply a chemical reaction that makes you think such things, hormones can make you believe that nobody like us, even if it´s not true.
    And I am a suicidal myself, how weird is that?
     
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i get drunk and stupid.I can't control it.When I am sober I am fine.Sorry.I should find another forum to seek support at because I don;t want to compromise the support I try to give here. I really know what others feel and know people can be saved..but I shouldn't poop where I live so to speak..sorry.I really DO want to help others..its just I get drunk and act stupid.
    Nothing to see here...move on. sigh.
     
  5. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i used to get wasted all the time. i went to court for wielding a sword while drunk. theirs groups and individuals that can help.
     
  6. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    one of the best things about forums like this is, being able to communicate with one another. i learned several times that some of the best therapy is talking and listening to others that are in your shoes.

    i understand that things are unsettling for you as are for many. i dont think you deserve to think like that. your not pathetic. you have some issues that can be dealt with. be good to yourself and give your self a chance and keep writting and when you have something to offer.... DO SO.

    when you write some support posts LISTEN TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. it helps others and it helps yourself. sometimes we do our best thinking when we write.

    do give it another shot ... wont you ??
    odiecom
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    OMG ashes_away I just saw this post...Please don't do anything! You are so wonderful and we love you here...you are so needed.
    I didn't mean for my comment about other forums to be a suggestion that you not post here hun! Just saying I understood...you know I did that and that is when you helped me so much.
    Don't listen to that stupid judgmental voice in your head! That evil voice is in all of us and I just hate it.
    Please ashes come back! And for god's sake don't do anything ...Oh I feel awful.
    Please let us know your okay..you are so valuable to all of us here!

    Please ..time after time!

    Love B
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't have to go anywhere. I think lots of us have gotten drunk and said some strange things at one time or another. It's okay. I know I've been there, and I wouldn't judge someone else who did the same thing. I hope you keep posting here.
     
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