cant hold on any longer

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by chrism67, Jan 26, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I've been fighting this for a while now. I've been in therapy , on meds, and nothing helps. Ive been cutting already for a week. Im having urges to go much deeper. I thought of a plan, have a place just need a time. I dont see a way out. Everything just hurts tooo much. Need to just end ir.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    What is driving you to this? What thoughts or what events are making you think this is the right thing to do?
     
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Ive been cutting twice a day. Its getting real hatd to contol it. I hate life. Everything sucks. I know how I want to go. Its only a mat.ter of when
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Try to make it once a day for a while, cut it down as best you can.
    Why do you feel that everything sucks?
     
  5. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Because everything I was afraid of happening to me has happened all once in the last 3 months. I just cant deal with it anymore. Everything feels too much. I dont want to even feel the good stuff. Feelings are just way too overloaded. Ive been in therapy, have been on a bunch of different meds, had ect, in day programs. there is just no hope for me. Im done ready to check out. I cant take anymore.
     
  6. fake.smiles92

    fake.smiles92 Member

    This is exactly how I feel.
    I'm just too afraid to do it.. I've attempted it four times. I just always stop because I'm scared.

    It's just so hard to hold on...
     
  7. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Do you have any friends who can help you through this awful time?
    If not, you have this site. Please don't give up, either of you.
     
  8. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    No I dont have friends im a loner. But I do have kids. But at times I think they would be better off with someone else. I dont know y im still here. Chicken I guess.
     
  9. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I had a horible day. And in turn i had to cut. I could bearly stop. I dont want to be here anymore. There is just too much pain. And my body is already cut up. Dont know what stopped me. I just cant do it anymore.
     
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you had a bad day, what happened?
    I am glad you were able to stop.
    Maybe thoughts of your children stopped you?

    Hope today is a better day.
     
  11. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I have this real desperate feeling. I ha no idea where ite coming from. But it tells me to do something and soon. I cant handle the waiting. And i want the pain to stop. Cutting isnt doing it because i have to too deep. I only know of one way out. I think we would all be happier.
     
  12. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    We would not be happier Chrism67, I am not sure you would be either.
    Can you describe the feeling to me?
     
  13. LoveNeverFails

    LoveNeverFails Banned Member

    HEY CHRISM67

    I Want to talk with you!!!!! can we talk bro?? love ya!
    -your brother B
     
  14. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I was married for twenty years when my husband decided he wanted drugs more than a family. Now i have a pfa against him. And i have no one. No friends or family. my house is going into forclosure and i have three kids. Im trying to move. Not to mention i go to school full time. I really dont want to live anymore. Everything is an effort. Im cracking. Im cutting like crazy hoping ill hit something. And having a hard time controling it. If i go into the hospital my kids go into foster care. Just going to thw bathroom is too much work. Im totally depressed with obsessive self harm thoughts. I dont know what to do.
     
  15. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Imagine all was well in your life; what would be different?
    I am so sorry your husband left you, and for such a foolish reason. How do you feel about that?
     
  16. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I just cant take anymore. I want to curl up and just not wake up anymore. I cant even function it feels too much. Much less take care of four kids. Just cant do it. Help!!!!!!!!!
     
  17. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Im cutting deeper and deeper the urge to cut is out of control. and hope to really do some damage. I dont care to be around anymore. I want the pain to stop. I called my doc today and never got a return call thats how important i feel.i see my therapist tomorrow but feel pretty desperate. I dont know what
    else to do.
     
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