Can't hold on much longer......

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by impulse617, May 3, 2008.

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  1. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    I'm fuckin sick of this life, I'm sick of fighting every day, I'm sick of the tears, I'm sick of the pain....I can't take it anymore, I'm about to fuckin break.

    I really don't have anything to live for. My so called "friends" don't give a fuck about me. I'm the one who loves them more then anything and would do anything to see them happy, but I guess that don't mean shit to them. Wtf is the point of living??? I could kill myself right now and no one would care or notice, so why not just do it???

    Yea my family cares, but its not enough, I still feel empty and alone. I know my suicide will hurt them, but I just can't hang on anymore. Therapy and meds have helped a little bit but not enough, this pain is just to much.

    I think things are better this way....for me and for everyone else
  2. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I write about pain most days in my journal. It's unbearable sometimes. And sometimes suicide seems to be the only escape. I've tried it a number of times. But there I am again when I wake up.

    My family is one of my primary reasons I keep living another day. I don't want to hurt them, and as much as I think I won't be missed, I have to admit that the people I care about will miss me terribly. So, we keep going another day.

    Would you say that most of your pain comes from the past? Past pain really affects our present, but the past is just that - it's gone, and nothing we do can change it. What we CAN change is Now. Now is the only time we can control. The future may or may not happen the way we think, so we can't actually change our future. Only the present is given to us.

    Living in the now has been a hard lesson for me to learn, and I'm still learning. Much as we'd like to think so, suicide isn't our only option for this present day. We can make other choices, even if we can promise to stay with that choice for one day. But then, today is our only reality. Hang on to today and look for even one ray of sunshine.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I can relate to what your saying. You need to find someone you really love and talk to them. I use my daughter and my grandaughter to help keep me from going over the edge. She told me if I did go through with it she would never forgive me. Death is an everyday thing with me. I have been helping my brother build a pole barn for his horses. I normally don't leave my bedroom I don't feel comfortable being out around people. I have a plan to end it. I told myself that I would hold off on doing anything until we finish the work we are doing. Like I said find someone to talk to.
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I know what you're saying, I really do. I suggest you speak to your friends, you may well be surprised with the response you get. Don't lose the hope. Hope keeps us going and ultimately, it is what gets us through the rough times. :hug:
  5. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    Reading most of the threads here,somehow give me an impression that
    most of us are disillusioned about happiness. We are like cats & mouse chasin happiness.

    I do wonder if we don;t label how we feel such as happiness,loneliness, etc..
    if would that make our feelings different. Just an observation.
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