Can't keep going

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by -brokengirl-, Mar 12, 2012.

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  1. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    It's worse than its ever been I don't even know how I've coped this long but I can't any ore. Literally have everything I need and god I want it so bad. I don't want to hurt anyone but this is the best thing I can do for them now. There is nothing else. I don't even know why I'm posting on here. I guess to see if anyone, even strangers, care. I've had no contact with my family or friends for 3 days, not through lack of trying. And I honestly think that this is the only oPtion left. I can't keep doing this it's too hard.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I care and i am sure your family cares h un You do not want to harm others hun you want the sadness to go away Go to hospital okay talk to someone there get some support to help you get through this hard time hugs
     
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    What has happened to make you so isolated, to make you feel broken?
     
  4. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    I agree with total eclipse, maybe the hospital is the best thing right now. I'm so sorry your feeling this way, I've been there too. Sometimes I try to pretend I'm not alive. I play sudoku or this other game called word bubble to occupy my mind. My emotions and soul completly shut down and it helps me get through those critical hours. After not being around people for so long, maybe it's best to check into the hospital and ask to talk to staff. That might cheer you up. Hope you stay strong and hope everything works out okay.
     
  5. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    A whIle ago I told one of my "friends" I self harm. About a month later I had od d and had the next day off. I then got a message saying she had told everyone. Even people I didn't know. Since then I haven't been able to talk to anyone and I feel like I'm drowning in it now. They've all told me they expect me to kill myself but don't honk I have the guts. Guess I can prove them wrong.
    And I have always said I would never willingly go into hospital. I know I'd never come out.
    Thank you for replying, but I'm pretty sure now that it's going to happen. I just have a few things to sort out first.
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    That is not very friendly, perhaps you ought to re-evaluate your relationship with these people?
    Please keep talking, see if you can build up new friendships that are more supportive.
     
  7. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    Now my 3 people including my councillor are trying to get me hospitalised. I won't go. I can't go there. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I can't do this.
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Why? Do you fear the loss of freedom?
     
  9. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Do what you think is best for you. Whichever can make you less lonelier.
     
  10. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    I just can't.
     
  11. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    How are you feeling today brokengirl?
    Are you still using SH?
     
  12. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    They've never been deeper. And it's like they haven't even happened. I'm very nearly ready.
     
  13. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Please talk to us, about how you feel?
     
  14. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    What can I say? I have no will left to fight this. The only reason I haven't yet is because I need to make sure everything is ready. I've never felt so sure about anything in my entire "life". 7 years of this is coming to an end. And if I'm honest, I can't f****ng wait. I nearly called a crisis line last night, then realised that it doesn't matter anymore, it might hurt the people I care about at first, but they'll hate me after a while. Then they'll forget me. Good.
     
  15. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    'This' being your feelings, your situation?
    If you could change anything, to make your life more liveable, what would you change?
     
  16. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    Me being here. I wouldn't even recognise feeling better I've been feeling bad for too long now
     
  17. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    And you can see nothing that would help you feel better?
     
  18. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    Only death
     
  19. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Do you live alone brokengirl?
    Is there someone who you can talk to?
     
  20. -brokengirl-

    -brokengirl- Well-Known Member

    Don't live alone. Can't talk to teum. Cant even think
     
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