I've let things get so bad that I just don't see any other way out. For the past year I've pretended to be happy so everyone around me wouldn't suspect anything, and now I can't bring myself to talk to anyone because I don't think they'd believe me. Cutting isn't enough anymore. I have no job, my grades are so low I'll probably be kicked out of college, and I can barely even get out of bed in the morning. I have no future and I honestly don't feel like I have anything to live for. My parents will be so disappointed if they find out just how low I've sunk, and it's too late to fix anything. I just feel empty all the time, and all I do is cry. I can't do this anymore. I'm not even living - I'm just a zombie. I've lost contact with most of my friends, and I'm too scared to talk to the ones I have left. I want to be happy again but I don't think it's possible. No matter where I turn suicide seems like the only option. I want to finally do it tonight. I keep prolonging it, thinking that something will change, but it's only gotten worse. I'm even too much of a coward to get some help. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up again.