I know the words are truly meant and heartfelt. I'm so sorry to dump my problems here on others that are doing as badly or probably worse than me. If you want to know some of them, I made a rather lengthy post in my diary. Dont need to read, but just thought it only fair to try one last time to express myself. I realized last night that I met that final breaking point too many years ago and have been foolishly hanging on to hopes, dreams and empty words and promises. Nothing is ever going to change. I see only one real solution to end so much pain for myself and the ones I love. And yes it is going to hurt them, but just as much as it is going to hurt them reliving the same shit day after day. Atleast they will have a chance at a better future, one I could never possibly offer. And I will not have to face the guilt anymore. To those of you who are parents, you know what I mean and feel. To those of you that arent, I pray that you can get help and find the happiness to keep going forward and get the chance to one day be wonderful parents.