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Can't live without her.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by AlreadyBeenLost, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. AlreadyBeenLost

    AlreadyBeenLost New Member

    Hi, guys it's my first time here..
    I love this girl, we've been dating for quite some time now, and recently she requested that we take a break from each other for a month. It's coming around into the second week, and I'm slowly dying over here...
    We still live together and everything but she says she wants to see other people for the month. That just shattered my world and last night she came home at about 5:30 in the morning sometime.
    I saw her this morning to check up on her but she had a hickey on her neck, and that just killed me, she wanted me to try and win her back during this break but how can I when she's meeting this guy and comes home with a hickey?
    this is too hard for me to get through, in the beginning she was the suicidal one and I was the reason for her finding hope in her life, and now it's turned around on me.. I want to just die without her... I know for a fact that no one else can fill that place in my heart that she has, and now that she's seeing someone else which I must say is record time.. I'm just torn apart, I'm not myself anymore, I don't eat or even feel hunger anymore. I'm just and empty shell.. I know it's a lot to feel this way for one woman, but she's the one that has the fate of my life in her hands at this point in time. Meeting other people isn't going to help, I've tried it over the weekend, and I just didn't even care for them, no matter how beautiful they are, they aren't her. I love this girl with everything I've got, I've sacrificed everything for her, family and friends.
    My mother says I should just go cool and just forget about it but it just wont work.
    I don't know what to do anymore which is why I am here. 3/20/2013 is the ending date to this break, it will either have a happy ending, or it will be a tragic ending for my life, I'm not going to be missed. My family thinks I'm a disgrace, and my friends probably hate me also, I will definitely end up dying if I'm not with her. Until then I'm going to give it my all in winning her back.. Wish me luck guys and please if there I would like a little comforting on this if possible. My decisions are set 100% no looking back now, I love her with all that I am, and am not going to give up on her, I just needed some help or something. I don't know.. I'm just empty without her. I'm not stupid either, you'd do the same if you were me.
    Everyone's told me I'm going too crazy over a girl, but she's the one I've already asked to marry, and we've had our hard times but this is just crazy, I feel like I'm a danger to myself and society at times.
    I'm not going to do anything rash like hurt another innocent person but until the month is up I'm just going to have to give it my all, literally even my life.
    I know it isn't going to get her back if I'm dead but hey! at least I won't feel the pain of this emptiness any longer if I'm gone..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You say you love her If you truly love her you would never ever cause her pain by comitting suicide simple you deserve someone that will love you as much as you love them quit wasting time on someone that does not love you Go and find someone else You have no idea who is out there for you unless you try.
  3. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Well regardless if like it or not you are going to have live without her if she doesn't love you.

    Also killing yourself over a person is just plain stupid... yes it can disappointing when you love someone but they don't love you in return but thats just life.
  4. SadBk

    SadBk Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your pain :( That kind of betrayal just rips your soul out. And yes, I do think of it as a betrayal -- you guys LIVE together for chrissakes. You've proposed marriage. If she needs a break from your relationship as in time for herself, that's one thing, but to me it sounds like she had the hots for this other guy and decided now is a good time for ~a break~ so she doesn't have to feel like she's cheating on you. Get angry with her, kick her ass out if you can, stand up for yourself, you deserve better! You are not "giving up on her" if she's already given up on you. And you shouldn't have to compete with others for her love. There should be no "winning her back." Either she loves you, or she doesn't.

    Personally I don't think it's right to see other people after a breakup, not until you're in a good place with it mentally... I don't like the rebound thing and I don't think it's fair to anyone to make them compete with the person who has your heart. But some people believe "the best way to get over an old love is to find a new one" and it does seem to work for some. To each his own. I would be surprised if you met another girl who sparked your interest while you're so clearly in love with the one who's hurting you, though. Time and distance can help a great deal, cliche as that sounds.

    *hugs* Hang in there, I'm rooting for you ~
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you got somewhere you can go for a bit?
    Not only is this girl playing with you, but is rubbing your nose in it.
    If you're not there, you at least won't see what she's up to and distance can help clear our minds.

    I know how you're feeling, I've been there and still bear the scars, but I know that the transition between being loved and hoping it would all come good was far worse than the actual end of the relationship.
    Hope can be a grand thing, but it can also kill you slowly, by inches.

    Of course you don't want anyone else YET! you haven't had time to mourn the end of this relationship.
    Try to eat, even if it's only small amounts, it will in the long run make you feel a tad better.

    Don't let this person do this to you, remove yourself from the play, she will at least respect that.
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Why did she request this "break"? Were things bad between you at the time? What was her motivation?
    Like SadBk, I suspect she just fancied having a fling with someone but didn't want the stigma of being a cheat, so she came up with this break idea to give herself a pass to do what she wanted for a month and then go back to you at the end of it and resume your committed relationship. However, the world doesn't work like that. You can't just take a break from a relationship and then pick up where you left off once you've blown off some steam. If I'm correct in my views (and I may not be, I don't know this woman and can only say it how I see it from the information provided) then she's walking all over you and she knows it.

    Regardless of her motivations for the breakup, parading it around in front of your face is wrong. A break is meant for "me" time, thinking about what it is you really want and if the relationship is working, not a chance to pull someone other guy and get a hickey from it. I understand how you feel as I've been with someone I felt I couldn't live without (and am now, too) and I stayed with them despite them cheating and lying to me continually for two years, and trust me, it doesn't get any better. The more shit they pull the more it brings you down and eventually you'll end up a broken mess on the floor and they won't even be fazed by it.

    I understand you can't leave her right now, but what you can do is let her know that her behaviour is NOT okay. Scare her a bit, tell her you're moving out for the remainder of the break, tell her you want to extend the break for your own purposes (not to cheat but to think), make her worry about what she's done. She absolutely expects you to be sitting there like a lap dog at the end of the month ready to go back to normal.. DON'T. She needs to realise she can't hurt your feelings like that.

    Good luck.
  7. AlreadyBeenLost

    AlreadyBeenLost New Member

    Thank you guys for these comforting words. It's giving me a better grasp on things, I guess I just needed to blow some steam off..
  8. Ume94

    Ume94 Member

    I know how you feel. I've had 3 past relationships, one in which i was emotionally abused for 3 years, and now I'm in one that makes me feel like I'm on a rollercoaster ride all the time that I can't seem to survive. Somehow i always twist things in relationships around to be my fault, especially with my current long-term boyfriend who i really care for. When i first met him, he was the one who was upset & emotional lots of the time and I made him stronger, and now it's pretty much the other way round. He broke up with me twice, both times of which i begged him to get back together. Though we're still together, i always feel like i always have to say sorry for things that (i don't know what i did wrong). Its scary and has hurt me and my life alot till the extent that I'm suffering from depression and seeing a psychologist. I'm not you so i don't know how you feel exactly, but this kind of situation indeed does hurt. It makes living for the sake of living and makes you feel like you're gonna die all the time (but you can't). Takecare man. I wish you all the best. May you find someone who deserves you, or learn to live without her. I've been told thats what the point of things are~ Hang in there just a little bit more. By minutes, hours, then days. They'll make up your life no matter how painful it may be. Dying won't solve anything (or I'd be dead by now I'm sure)

    Good luck!