Can't lose her.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Wish i hadn't left. I wanted to stay, Had to come home. Now i wanna be there more than ANYTHING. Wanna be there SOOO fucking badly. I'd get on the next train if i could. I'm scared. So bloody scared. I can't lose here. I just can't. It would kill me. Sitting here crying at the thought of losing her like that. I'm literally in tears. Wish there was something i could do. Some thing i could say. But theres nothing. What can you say? I'd be there if i could but i don't think it would help. I want to so badly.

    The past few days we're so fucking good. The happiest I've been in a LONG time. I wasn't sure. Wasn't sure what i wanted at the time. Wasn't sure if i wanted to go on Friday but had to. Needed to sort my head out. It worked. Worked out what i wanted. Past few days something in me changed. Something big. A good thing. One person knows what i mean. I was surprised of how i acted the past few days. Its not me. I'm meant to be the 'shy Vikki' Thats not who i was the past few days. I acted COMPLETELY different in my opinion and i like the way I've changed.

    But thinking about losing her is like a knife going through my chest right now. If i was to lose her my life's over. I'm only living for one person right now. If that persons gone then whats the point anymore. There is none. If they go ..... i do.

    Need to write the letters just in case. Sort it out. Sort the plan out.

    Can't lose her. Can't lose her. Can't lose her. Just can't.
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :( Big hugs for both of you. :hug: I know it'll be hard, but you can both get through this; you have each other. :hug:
     
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: Vikki. :sad: You can both make it.
     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I think im gonna lose her tonight. She told me her plan. When. Its now. I can't lose her. I'm not ready. If she goes then i do. I'm living for her. Need to get ready if im gonna lose her. Need to sort things. Can't let her do it but need to be prepared. Love her. Lover her so damn much.
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    hang in there vikki. You both can get through this. Neither of you has to lose the other. I know how hard it is to stay strong, but you need to. Don't give in. Don't give up. Call her and talk, anything.I am thinking of you both. :hug:
     
  6. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    vikki, please be strong, i know exacly what you are ssaying about living for her. i'm in the same boat, she doesn't know it tho.:arms::hug: i'm here if you want to talk. kay
     
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Thanks.

    Need to stay strong for her. Need to be strong. Need to go there tomorrow and be there for her. I don't know if she wants me there. I don't know. I wanna be there for her. I dunno how to be strong for her. Wanna give her a hug so badly right now. Gotta stay awake in case she needs me. Needs to call me or whatever.
     
  8. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Im sure your presence there can do nothing but help Vikki. I really, really hope she can see a positive future for herself and rethink what shes planning to do. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship together, its really lifted your spirits lately. Stay strong for her, be there as much as you can, thats the best thing you can do. I hope she pulls through, you both have a lot to live for.
     
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hang in there hunny, it'll be ok, i'm sure she'd want you there. Just be there for eachother. Please know we are also here for you too. We love you hunny. Send Sam my love and best wishes, so so sorry about her Nan. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: