Wish i hadn't left. I wanted to stay, Had to come home. Now i wanna be there more than ANYTHING. Wanna be there SOOO fucking badly. I'd get on the next train if i could. I'm scared. So bloody scared. I can't lose here. I just can't. It would kill me. Sitting here crying at the thought of losing her like that. I'm literally in tears. Wish there was something i could do. Some thing i could say. But theres nothing. What can you say? I'd be there if i could but i don't think it would help. I want to so badly. The past few days we're so fucking good. The happiest I've been in a LONG time. I wasn't sure. Wasn't sure what i wanted at the time. Wasn't sure if i wanted to go on Friday but had to. Needed to sort my head out. It worked. Worked out what i wanted. Past few days something in me changed. Something big. A good thing. One person knows what i mean. I was surprised of how i acted the past few days. Its not me. I'm meant to be the 'shy Vikki' Thats not who i was the past few days. I acted COMPLETELY different in my opinion and i like the way I've changed. But thinking about losing her is like a knife going through my chest right now. If i was to lose her my life's over. I'm only living for one person right now. If that persons gone then whats the point anymore. There is none. If they go ..... i do. Need to write the letters just in case. Sort it out. Sort the plan out. Can't lose her. Can't lose her. Can't lose her. Just can't.