I had to call my primary doctor about sending a referral over to a specialist. I was so nervous that I didn't really understand much of what she told me except for that she might call me back. I don't even know what that means. I don't know if she's sending it or not sending it, if I need to call again or not. I can never actually pay attention to what's being said when I do get the balls to talk to someone or make sure what I need gets done because my social anxiety gets in the way. I can't deal with this. I'm not socially competent enough for simple phone calls...even when my own health/life is at stake. Now I have a headache because I'm panicky and upset. I'd rather just try to kill myself...I don't think I'll be able to get this done and as a result won't be able to see the doctor I need to see. I'm too stupid and incapable.