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can't make simple phone calls to take care of something important.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TooShyToScream, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I had to call my primary doctor about sending a referral over to a specialist. I was so nervous that I didn't really understand much of what she told me except for that she might call me back. I don't even know what that means. I don't know if she's sending it or not sending it, if I need to call again or not. I can never actually pay attention to what's being said when I do get the balls to talk to someone or make sure what I need gets done because my social anxiety gets in the way. I can't deal with this. I'm not socially competent enough for simple phone calls...even when my own health/life is at stake. Now I have a headache because I'm panicky and upset. I'd rather just try to kill myself...I don't think I'll be able to get this done and as a result won't be able to see the doctor I need to see. I'm too stupid and incapable.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2011
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Is it totally necessary that you make these phone calls on your own? Maybe someone close to you could start the conversation for you, and if at any point it has to be you personally speaking, you would only need to say a few words. What often happens is, the person on the other end will ask for your permission for your close friend/significant other to speak. If you tell them it's okay, they'll probably allow them to speak for you. I don't see a reason they'd have a problem with it; it's a relatively simple matter that can be answered within minutes, assuming you're not transferred a dozen times.

    But I really do think it's important that a follow-up call is made to make sure you were understood and you're getting what you need. If she really said that she "might" call you back, that's not good enough, and I'm surprised she said that.

    If you luck out and someone says the referral was made, it might be prudent to get the person on the other end's name. That way, if for whatever reason the referral did not go through, you can tell someone at the office that so-and-so told you the referral went through, and you'll get the opportunity to speak to them personally.

    I know phone calls are hard, I really do. Sometimes they feel like a nightmare, especially because it seems like such a simple thing. I hope you get what you need.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    maybe your boyfriend can call them back and find out what's going on.

    when i have to make calls like that i keep a pen and paper nearby, with a list of questions and room to write down the answers. like, is a referral being made? who is making it? do i need to call anyone or will they call me? how long will it take before i get called? etc. i write down all the answers so i don't forget...
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about - just get someone else to phone - plus, always keep a pen and paper near the phone so that you can write down the important points.

    Bear in mind depression causes this - its not 'you' in that you've somehow created the depression. It just happens sometimes.

    I'm sure that you'll regain some confidence again and be able to cope with basic life-skills again. Little by little we do this.
  5. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I have my fiance call for mostly everything else but these people are retarded. Every doctor's office has been okay with him calling for me except that one (sometimes they need my verbal consent, like you said, but still). These people, however, claim it's against HIPAA with or without my verbal consent for MY FIANCE to do it. And I emphasize "my fiance" because they're apparently okay with violating HIPAA by giving my mom my medical information without my consent and her calling and making appointments for me. One day my mom calls me and says that my primary doctor called HER and said I need blood tests done. How fucked up is that? It's shady as shit because the doctor/receptionists there are Russian and Russians have different cultural values. They believe that parents can and should be involved in their child's medical care. Not that that would stand up in court...I technically could sue them for what they've done, but I don't have the will power or energy to care that much. They don't have HIPAA forms at the office. They blurt out diagnoses with the door to the waiting room wide open (my ex heard my diagnosis that way before I even got the chance to tell him when I came out). And like I said, they're willing to talk to my mom about anything basically but not my fiance when I say its okay. So that's why I try to call there myself. I don't like my mom calling because she criticizes me for not being able to do it myself, and I don't want her to know everything about my medical history either. They don't know what the fuck they're doing though it seems most of the time...I think I need a new primary doctor. Those people are ridiculous. That bitch once asked why I can't "just pick the phone up and call myself" when he tried to call for me.

    To tell you the truth though, I don't know what she said. I was too nervous to pay proper attention, but that's what I gathered from it. She said something like, "I have to look at your file and if something's wrong I'll call you back'. I didn't understand why she didn't have my file up while talking to me though. All she had to do was send the same referral they sent 6 months ago to the same doctor. How hard can that be? I just didn't know what was going on, why she may or may not call me back, what I should do, etc. I was panicking from being nervous. She did end up sending it though. I asked my mom to call in the end and that's what she told her. I still have a headache from that bitch though. As soon as I tell her my name she starts talking to me in russian like I'm supposed to just know it, even though I'm still talking to her in english.

    Either way, I'll keep having problems with them until I switch my doctor...I know that. I just don't know to who. Plus, that requires more phone calls and such. But the real problem now is the appointment itself that I got the referral for. I'm scared to go because if they do another biopsy it'll hurt like a bitch. If I don't walk in there high, I'll probably piss myself from being so scared.
  6. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I don't have depression by itself. I have personality and anxiety disorders. And no offense, but no I won't be able to cope with basic life skills...that's what being mentally ill means.
  7. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Um, whoops. I answered my own question in this post. Sorry.
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