Cant relate

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coldhands, Oct 13, 2010.

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  1. coldhands

    coldhands New Member

    Im a 21 y/o college student with a job and a smile. I work, I go to school, but then I come home and blowing my brains out crosses my mind for a split second.

    I cant relate. I cannot for the life of me relate to other people. I have friends, but I dont like any of them. I see them on the weekend, only to drink to the excesses of puking or pissing myself.

    I feel like im from a different planet; I can charm and entertain and somehow get people to like me, but I feel a disconnect. Its always there.

    I wish I had the balls to finish this, but im afraid of whats beyond. You see, Im an athiest, I believe in logic and science, and I know deep inside of me that the quiet silence of death is as much peace as a the void that is space.

    I feel all of these social and biological pressures pulling me each and every way. I life was simpler, but this life will not allow it. My genetics will not allow me, my consciousness, my parents, are apathetic to what I want as a spirit.

    TLDR; I want you to help me xxxx, why is this consumerist "I HAVE TO BE better than you lifestyle" better than the ultimate silence?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2010
  2. assek

    assek Well-Known Member

    i understand what you mean about not relating to people. i have friends, but i dont like them. they are friends but at the same time they are not. i feel disconnected from my family too. its almost as if the only reason i call them family is because we have the same blood...

    do you have any hobbies ? what do you do when you get home ?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Depression will do that keep us apart from everyone I hope you are talking to a professional about how you are feeling your t houghts and getting some help.
    Get on some meds to help you feel better okay go talk to someone and get feeling more connected to others.
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