for years, surely life is not meant to be this hard. Are other people happy or do they just pretend and lie to themselves that they are. I ma not happy fact. What do you do when getting depressed and thinking about suicide becomes 'the same old'. Even when i post on forums now about depression it feels like the same old and I cannot be bothered posting. In reality it seems like there is only one thing left. I do not feel like I want to at the moment , but it is the truth, there is only one thing left , also there is nothing really stopping me. Or i could carry on the pursuit of happiness, but that has been going for years and i am still not happy , why bother , why try, life sucks, who would want to live , somehow i feel if everyone was truly honest with themselves they would agree life sucks , but i guess my perception is warped by depression or whatever fact i will never go to the doctors basically there is nowhere left to turn, it is going to be one of the two conclusions, My life is going to suck for another one and a half years at least, while i am pretending i am happy i am not happy i am not ok but not me or anyone else can really do anything about it life is shit , why is it so shit?