Can't see a reason

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bruces, Jan 28, 2015.

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  1. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    It's hard to see a reason with ongoing mental health issues such as depression and ocd plus a skin complaint psoriaiss that makes me so self conscious,I feel dead inside and like I'm just waiting for the rest to catch up,I feel so tired all the time I just want to sleep,life wasn't meant to be like this,in actual fact life isn't an accurate description it's just an existance really,I just want to be taken away and gone for good,I HATE being me....
     
  2. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I wish I had better words for you today, I really do.

    You are going through a lot, and this is not your fault. You certainly didn't chose to have mental health issues, nor those physical issues that you are experiencing as well.

    I tried to read some of your past posting, and I hope you get all the help you need and deserve from doctors and/or your medical team.

    I wish you the best of luck.
     
  3. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your kind words,I just wish I was never born I hate every minute of every day,I'm not really religious but every night I say a prayer hoping I don't wake up but every morning I do,I hate my very existence...
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Bruces, please remain strong as you count and life is important. I understand that you are down but we can support you. I know it's hard but with is about dealing on a day by day basis.

    I strongly suggest that you keep posting as it no doubt helps you. The physical and mental you suffer is hard but please remain strong.

    Sorry, not get personal but are seeing a therapist about your.situation.
     
  5. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Life to me is completely unimportant,in fact it's the very thing I despise,I'm absolutely gutted I ever existed,I hate my very existance,every time I turn on the news I hear of people dieing somewhere and I just keep thinking when is it my bloody
    Turn...
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    did you have depression before or after having skin issue?
     
  7. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Had depression and ocd for 23 years
     
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Skin issue is more recent?
     
  9. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I've had that about 18/19 years
     
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Ouch. It's a huge confidence killer. I have ance prone skin and am constantly struggling to have a clear skin. It's a never ending battle. It deflated my confidence 100%

    I am hearing wonderful things about medications and your skin condition have you tried them yet?
     
  11. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    When you feel completely hopeless and no good for anything what is genuinely the point????
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Who said you were no good for anything?! Everyone is here for something and is good at something, you are here still alive and fighting this fight. Whatever your purpose here is will come to you if not already, I like to think eventually everything will fall into place, in my case it did. My life is not fantastic but my depression is gone which was a huge battle. We do care.
     
  13. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I became a burden to my fmily when i was about 17 I'm now 40 in a few months and have given my family nothing
    But grief,I'm convinced that if I was gone it would be kinder to myself and my family after the initial upset,I will never amount to anything,this world is so screwed up how can good people be dieing when I'm here and have physical health,if only I could give my miserable pointless life to save somebody else and finally do some good in this world.
     
  14. Mermaid3011

    Mermaid3011 Member

    Hey Bruces!
    I don't think anyone can ever real feel what we feel, but my own description is darn close to what you are saying.
    Trying to get through the day, without doing something stupid, is so incredibly hard. But it's possible! I know it is. I made it from this morning to now almost 8 pm. The day WILL end soon and then I will get sleep. Relaxation. Turning the brain off. At least for a few hours.

    How are you doing right now? Your post was from early this morning. How was your day? What did you do?
    Hugs
    B.
     
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Now you have hit the nail on the head there bruces, you can be good to people while being alive, volunteering last year helped me a lot. You can volunteer, help out and not be a burden. What is it you would like to do to prevent you feeling like you are such a burden?
     
  16. Mermaid3011

    Mermaid3011 Member

    Petal's idea of volunteering sounds fabulous!

    I've had the same thoughts over the last days. Being an organ donor to at least make people happy who want to live. But maybe volunteering is a better first step. :)
     
  17. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Everybody I know has a better life than me better job,they have partners and they are happy god I hate myself
     
  18. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I don't understand the point of my life why should such a pointless and worthless person be alive?
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are focusing on all of your bad areas, think of something good you have ever done for someone or something, when I am down that helps. I do realize what you are saying that they are happy, they are married with kids, go on holidays etc etc... there is nothing stopping you from even trying to improve your life a small bit, is there anything you can do productively to help yourself?

    I do not want to see any harm come to you, I do wish you the best :hug:
     
  20. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    All my areas are bad I don't have any good ones
     
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