I'm not really sure how to explain how I feel, but I'll do my best. Ever since the beginning of the year (September) I've lost all motivation to be productive or even do anything. I used to be an overachiever and now I just can't bring myself to care. Things got worse as the months progressed and I found myself sleeping more and more and eating less out of a general lack of interest. I cry all the time and I can't figure out why this is happening, because I do remember a time when I was happy. There's no one I can talk to and I'm afraid to go to a doctor, so I'm not sure if I'm actually depressed or not. All I know is that what I'm doing now is not living, I'm basically just sleepwalking through life. I've lost contact with most of my friends and have become more and more isolated since September, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it. My parents have no idea how I feel and I can't tell them. They've always been very hard on me and I feel like I'm letting them down in the worst way, especially since my grades fell drastically and I'm pretty much failing out of university. I don't know what to do. I feel like it's too late to fix my life and I only have one way out: suicide. I can't face my parents' shame and disappointment, never mind the rest of my family, when they find out what my life has become. I feel like a failure, and there's nothing I can do about it. My life is ruined. I have nothing to live for, and suicide seems like the only way to escape all of this. I just don't know what else to do at this point.