Can't see a way out

[leeshagurlxx]

I'm not really sure how to explain how I feel, but I'll do my best. Ever since the beginning of the year (September) I've lost all motivation to be productive or even do anything. I used to be an overachiever and now I just can't bring myself to care. Things got worse as the months progressed and I found myself sleeping more and more and eating less out of a general lack of interest. I cry all the time and I can't figure out why this is happening, because I do remember a time when I was happy. There's no one I can talk to and I'm afraid to go to a doctor, so I'm not sure if I'm actually depressed or not. All I know is that what I'm doing now is not living, I'm basically just sleepwalking through life. I've lost contact with most of my friends and have become more and more isolated since September, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it.

My parents have no idea how I feel and I can't tell them. They've always been very hard on me and I feel like I'm letting them down in the worst way, especially since my grades fell drastically and I'm pretty much failing out of university.

I don't know what to do. I feel like it's too late to fix my life and I only have one way out: suicide. I can't face my parents' shame and disappointment, never mind the rest of my family, when they find out what my life has become. I feel like a failure, and there's nothing I can do about it. My life is ruined. I have nothing to live for, and suicide seems like the only way to escape all of this. I just don't know what else to do at this point.

 

[total eclipse]

There IS a way out hun okay your parent will understand that you need help
Please go to the school councillor doctor and get some help for you Get on some antidepressants you will see they will take that darkness away you will have more energy to get things done. Talk to coucillor see if you can redo some of your classes thru the summer okay. The are just classes that can be taken over You are you you can try again but after you get your mental health looked after. You parents will not understand you not reaching out to them for help The would want to help you as i helped my daughter. The grades meant nothing to me all i wanted was her well and strong again as your parents would want for you Please go talk to a councillor soon okay do it for you. hugs

 

[Sadeyes]

Hi and welcome...You do not have to be alone in dealing with this...try to speak to a counselor and you can work out how to deal with your parents...if they love you, they will want to know what is going on...sometimes, people do surprise us...if they only see this as 'a failure', that is their problems...people in pain deserve caring and support...welcome again and please continue to tell us what is going on...J

 

[Kiba]

Hello, and Welcome to the forums. In life everyone goes through ups and downs. When its considered depression or anything similar is when it affects your daily living. I really think you should see someone about the issues you are having. Suicide isn't the only option, and there are a lot of other things in life. Some don't even require schooling. I hope you get the help you need. :hug: And you have come to a good place of people who can be understanding. Always here if you need to chat, just give me a PM. Hope things get better.

 

[GoldenPsych]

Hi,

I hope you continue to post and use the forums as they are really helpful. If you are at uni they offer free counselling so it may be worth checking that out.

Maybe take a break from uni for a while. I did that in my final year. I found I couldn't cope and I was suicidal. I split my final year in to two and it helped me pass.

Discuss your concerns with uni and see what they can do for you.


xxxx