can't see myself getting out of this rut I'm in

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by ZzZzZzZz, Dec 20, 2009.

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  1. ZzZzZzZz

    ZzZzZzZz Member

    drinking, rambling again...

    just lonely, and try as I might (or might not), I can't make friends with anybody. Never had a relationship last with a girl longer than a couple of weeks. I'm probably going to be like this for the rest of my life. I'm sure everybody who knows me thinks I'm a weirdo or some kind of psychopath... it's not normal for a guy my age to be totally alone all the time. I just get choked up in every fucking social situation. Constantly analyzing how I'm perceived, dont' have a great self image of myself either. self esteem's in the toilet. I don't look kindly on that either... very feminine trait, very modern... maybe I'm not making any sense... (disclaimer: please don't ban me, not trying to offend)

    seems like just as soon as I have a shot at a friend or a girlfriend, I fucking shit all over it... boohoo! oh well... blah..... not even worth posting :stars:
     
  2. jp_bl_68

    jp_bl_68 Account Closed

    I'm the same. It got to the point where I would sweat, breathe heavily and feel nauseous in any social situation. Even if all I was doing was sitting on a cramped bus or paying for something in a shop.



    (I'm pretty sure it's almost impossible to get permabanned on this site. I seem to remember reading something in the rules/FAQ that accounts are never deleted because of the nature of the site.)
     
  3. ZzZzZzZz

    ZzZzZzZz Member

    dude I'm not even that bad, I just start blushing sometimes and I can fucking feel it coming on, i'm totally aware... so gay... and in conversations, I usually don't care about anything the other person is talking about, be it work or whatever, as i have no interest in sports, WORK, or other such bullshit, and I tend to ramble and make up shit (also, NOBODY gives a shit about things I talk about or am interested in). I can read it all over their faces that they know I'm full of shit... fuck, I just have so little interest in anything at all. I'm actually quite dumb (!!!)

    good luck with your situation buddy!
     
  4. jp_bl_68

    jp_bl_68 Account Closed

    Cheers.

    I didn't used to be that bad. There was a time when I was more like you but it just got worse. I wish I could tell you something to help change your situation. It's probably a confidence issue.
     
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