After a recent failed attempt I find myself trying to open my eyes and see around me again. I am ashamed that I chickened out or a more violent method and opted for a less painful one only to fail. I am pathethic. I fail at life and I fail at death. I do not even know what to do next. I have cried for days and even being suicidal I think "why bother" as I can't seem to kill myself anyways. I finally thought to come back to SF and see. But I dont know what to say. I am embarrassed. I have attempted several times and when I do I close my account like an idiot which only looks even dumber. I also dont even know how to ask for support at this point. I am so wiped out by trying to die and I dont want to live that I dont know what kind of help to ask for. I dont want to be alone and I dont have anyone in the real time world to talk about this stuff so here I find myself again. Am I crazy??? Has anyone else been like this? I am scared and I feel lost out here alone. I need to find a friend. Thanks for listening.