Can't seem to cope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, Nov 12, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I've just realized that I don't have any goals for my life. No purpose at all. I used to study in college and graduating to define my success. I was working a good job to define my capabilities. Plus I had boyfriends to define my attractiveness. Now I dropped out of grad school, quit my job, and broke up with my all my boyfriends. I have no identity. I'm just blowing in the wind. I'm on disability and taking all kinds of psych meds because I'm so mentally ill. I've been sick since 15 and now I'm 44. I have no husband, no children, and no normal life. I've been watching the news about the Phillipines and it is too disturbing for me so I had to change the channel. I realize I have a low tolerance to life stressors and seek comfort and support with mentally ill patients and the guidance from mental health professionals. My life is very small. I have no friends yet I push them away. I'm a loner. I don't seem the point of existing really. I was having a thought that since it is wrong for me to kill myself, then I hope I get killed in a car crash, natural disaster, murdered or any other way to not exist anymore. I'm a burden to society.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not a burden you are someone that has an illness someone that has help people here. So you do have a purpose If you can you can also do some volunteer work that way you are giving as well.
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I have many obstacles that prevents me to be productive. I dont have transportation to volunteer anywhere. However I do like relating myself to others in this forum. That's my only place I feel productive in.
     
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