My husband of nearly 25 years died of stomach cancer on September 28, 2007. At the time, I had been unemployed by choice for five years. My family lives halfway across the country. Our friends have abandoned me and I can't seem to find new ones. I had one good friend who was helping me cope with losing my husband, but she died on May 2 of this year. I am living on life insurance proceeds, but that will eventually run out. I can't seem to find a job and don't know if I could handle one if I could find it, because I seem to be tired all the time. I recently moved out the house I had with my husband (he died at home) and into a small apartment. No one has called me or come to visit. I've let myself become obese. It's been a long time since someone looked at me as if they knew I was a woman. I can't imagine who might ever love me. I'm not willing to settle for someone who would settle for me. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I were to die in this apartment. How many days would go by before someone wondered where I was? I think it would be weeks--perhaps not until the rent is late. I desperately need a reason to look forward to tomorrow. The future seems so bleak, and I don't know how long I can endure my existence as it is.