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Can't shake this

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by 41021, Jan 30, 2012.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Guess it's not an immediate crisis, I'll be fine so long as it's daylight.
    likely just gonna ramble or something

    my world feels foreign
    i feel like a stranger in what i created and once cared deeply about

    i can't seem to relate to anyone either :sad:
    I don't feel lonely but i feel alone in this

    All day, start and stop start and stop; work. Work i once loved. Work I chose.
    I keep pushing myself trying to push through it

    I find myself looking closely at what i am doing; Why? Why am i doing this what am i doing? My friends loved ones dead and i'm doing chores, and I'm doing work, and I'm eating or sleeping or whatever the heck and i cannot reason it in my head, hell i cannot even articulate this. I cannot reason being and doing...i can't connect i can't engage i can't justify it i cannot even simply accept it...you know kick it back a level and just allow things to be it's not working. I cannot follow my own advice.

    You know, life goes on, and yeah first loss or two sure, yeah it goes on
    it doesn't go on any more. It stops. it comes to a standstill. there comes a point where one's brain and one's heart can no longer process things.

    I keep staring at the water, thinking i should go ping. Kill some time until darkness falls like a freaking brick, feel the feeling, become one with it make it easier.

    good day all

  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i know how busy you can get, how much you pour yourself into everything

    but if everything is work, work, and more work with no letup, with no respite, it can wear you down to nothing

    have you done anything for yourself lately? read a book, put your feet up and listened to music, made yourself a favorite snack?

    you are an amazing special person

    I'll keep reminding you of that

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    like this ?



    went out hugged pig

    was gonna go to pasture visit horses

    i don't feel so good

    i cannot do those things i cannot do any things :sad:
    i can't fix it in my head living/dying living /dead living /gone it's not working
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

  5. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    how are you feeling today?
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    tears streaming all day
    to the point my eyes burn
    everything makes me gag or vomit on the spot

    How are you holding up John?

    ((((gentle hugs)))))
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

  8. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    :grouphug: for both of you
  9. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i do not hold up well
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    no more holding up for me
    love you
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    let us help hold you up
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