figured i'd come on here and say hi. it's been so long since i've been on sf.. not really needed to. being in college has kept me occupied and i now have regular contact with my eldest son (he's living with my mum now). me and other half are back together too. on the surface everything in my life is going great, or not great, but on the way to being great maybe. still not seeing my younger 2 kids, too terrified to initiate right now, but my and OH are putting the house on the market, looking for a 3 bed place closer to my mum's so we can have my eldest more often, have him stay over etc. like i said, on the surface everything is great. so why do i have this great big fricking blackness inside of me? i feel like it's swallowing me.