Can't sleep

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Koji, Mar 23, 2015.

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  1. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    I was lying in bed for the last hour and a half, trying to get some sleep, when it just hit me. The same old shit. It hit me harder than it has for ages. I started bawling my eyes out. I'm still bawling right now. It just won't go away. 14 years and it's still like the day i found out. I feel sick. I can't believe it's true. And it won't go away. Always the same old shit, always there.

    Anyway...
     
  2. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    I cant sleep either. want to chat
    I don't sleep much either. same old shit.
    making me sit here and look straight into the air
     
  3. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    can I ask what you found out 14 years ago
     
  4. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    You can ask, but i won't answer. I've resolved not to talk about my problem on here anymore (at least in any detail). It only makes people angry and/or sad when i do. And it's never helped me. 14 years of talking with many people about it plus therapists and psychiatrists hasn't helped one bit, so it's time to abandon the practice.
     
  5. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    well like I said....I don't get angry, and I like to help. you should not be limited to what bothers you and talking about it... good night
     
  6. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    thank you for the offer, i really appreciate it.
     
  7. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    absolutely, I understand that (at least in my case) that I will explode or hide when I cant be heard. I have thought of the worst case scenarios that you could be in and I think I could understand anything. Two seconds of someone's life can change it forever. I doesn't mean that the person is bad...worthless....or doesn't deserve someone to listen. I have regrets in my life....and you can ask god to forgive you and he very well might.....the trick is forgiving yourself and that is the hardest thing. my one BIG mistake took me years (25 to be exact) to forgive myself. I am not preaching at you.....just telling you a case in my life. I need someone to talk to also;....so if you don't want to talk about that............LETS talk about something else.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Cannot sleep either, I feel your pain my friend :hug:
     
  9. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    I finally got some sleep last night, took an ativan and slept for 11 hours. Sleeping is my favorite thing to do. For a few hours i can escape this wretched life (unless of course i have nightmares).
     
  10. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    sleep is always good. I will do that sleep maybe 3 or 4 hours and then binge and sleep 12. depression needs sleep. I am glad you got some. I just take Advil pm works pretty good.
     
  11. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    Again the sleep wouldn't come, for the same old reason. I'll never have any peace again, much less happiness, not in this life. This will never stop tormenting me. Even if i got to sleep, it's coming into my dreams now. I need to stop this...i need to try to stop this.
     
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