So I can't sleep so I guess I'll write what I am thinking about right now. Thinking about why I want to die and I think about how people are asking what I want to do with my life and I really don't know and I've never known and I'm so scared. There's so much pressure from everyone and it's killing me. I know I'm not qualified for anything. Even writing a resume for school was so hard just trying to add anything to make it long enough and it was still so short because I've done nothing with my life. My teacher said that you should at least pass high school to get anywhere and at this point I don't know if that's going to happen. I just don't want to get stuck in a job where I'm always under pressure beacuse I know I will freak out. I can't do most things with people, I'm very shy and I'm not good with new people. I'm not good at writing and a job that involves my looks is just out for obvious reasons. I just can't see a future in me. My therapist says it gets better but that's easy to say when your good at things and aren't lazy and don't hate yourself for being alive. Just wanted to get that off my chest.