Dead tired but can't sleep. I know if I don't sort out of my head it'll be worse later tomorrow. I have so much on my mind now. I HATE how out of control I am. How indecisive self loathing I am. I hate how I avoid everything that makes me distressed until it comes back to hit me in the face much worse. I get anxious just typing it on this forum, still being in this condition and going to the army in just 3 months. What the hell have I done with my life? nothing.. And I'm not focused enough to make things change.